5 Hilarious Overreactions to Kristen Stewart Cheating
So, you’ve probably heard by now: Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with her director in the movie Snow White and the Huntsman, Rupert Sanders. Less than a day after US Weekly published photos of Stewart and the married Sanders in several compromising positions, Stewart issued this statement to PEOPLE Magazine:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
Sanders’s wife of 7 years, model/actress Liberty Ross tweeted, “Wow,” before shutting down her Twitter and Facebook accounts. She also reportedly posted a picture of a crying and boozing Snow White with the caption, “Not so pretty or pure after all,” to her Instagram account before making it private. Her husband also issued his own mea culpa.
And then the internet LOST ITS FUCKING MIND!
There were many devastated tweets from Team Edward members, several pleas for everyone to respect the couple’s privacy, some Kristen Stewart death threats, and many jokes about Kristen apologizing for being a cheat, but not for those damn Twilight movies.
And then there were these people. I’m not saying they’re crazy. I’m just saying they need to go sit their asses down somewhere and make some life decisions. And also, they’re crazy.
The Twitter Meltdowns
The Tumblr Tumbles
And the YouTube Cry For Help
OK, that was six, but seriously, I could have been at this all night. And the mentally unbalanced weren’t the only ones providing humor in this sad tale….
There’s even a conspiracy theorist who has dissected the damning photos to prove that it’s all a hoax meant to destroy Kristen’s reputation. Apparently, she hasn’t yet read the public apology.
Finally, even the admins of the Kristen Stewart fan site have had enough:
And we’re sure at this point, so have you.
I am so going to leave them alone. The Youtube girl scared me straight.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
This reminds me to go back to 1990 and obsess over who Joey from NKOTB was dating and why wasn’t it ME!!?! (sob)
I’m comforted knowing the admins of the Kristen Stewart fan site are maintaining their personal integrity. I’ll really miss that site. (Not really.)
I love how serious they were about it. Like, Kristen went out and slapped babies and kicked puppies.
Exactly! I just imagine them at their slumber party/official admin meeting, giggling about how they could do a much better Bieber fan page, until they finally had to get down to serious business and discuss this unforgivable betrayal. Then they wrapped it up by freezing Angie’s bra and eating the rest of the Oreos, as a reward to themselves for their awesomeness.
Oh and I’ll take side bets that the site is back up by the end of the month.
Those people are TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION! Unlike Kristen Stewart’s hooha, apparently.
Also, Adam Fogle wins everything.
I laughed so hard when I read that last night.
That fan site shit is hilarious. It’s like she came out as a holocaust denier or something.
She is a denier of sparkly penis. The internet will smite her.
Also, my favorite Photoshop: “EAR?”
“EAR?” was my favorite, too.
I’m going to start saying that from now on, whenever I’m confused about anything.
“So… how does this work, Tawni?”
“EAR?”
LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOOO… oh wait… even SHE knew she was sounding like that.
I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.
My favorite was Professor Snape’s.
Jee. Zus. YouTube lady scares the crap out of me. I hadn’t watched the entire thing until just now. She’s literally sobbing over this.
Hahaha! “Penn State has known for like 6 months.” Twitter gold.
That was my favorite.
The one by Professor Snape cracked me up!
I take credit for this one. I was wearing my Emperor Palpatine cloak and sitting in one of the comfy chairs at Starbucks when I saw her and the director getting a cup of coffee, no big deal. Then I reached out with my hand and proceeded to pressure them into giving into the dark side.
“Do it, give in to your lust, give in to the power of the dark side….goood…..goooooood…..”
Seriously, this is idiotic if you ask me.”Oh my god she cheated!” I tell you what, if she hadn’t been in Twilight and she cheated on Rob, there wouldn’t be this big media fallout. She’d be just another celebrity who fooled around with some older man, be it actor, director, producer, or studio head.
Studio head is what she gave him.
Aha!
The YouTube lady gave me The Fear. Wow.
I laughed the entire time with this one. Thanks Nina- please continue to reveal the insanity of some fandoms. Fave line: And then the internet LOST ITS FUCKING MIND! LOL
But on a side note- Breaking Dawn 2 is going to be HUGE. The PR folks who handle that movie are popping corks and having cigars because people are going to see that movie in droves. Folks will want to see those two together- The Fans will see it because it was the last time “they were really happy” and The Masses will see it because of the “have to watch the train wreck” effect.
But my God, don’t people have lives???
Please let this mean she will go away forever.