Previously on American Horror Story: Coven: “Protect the Coven”

Silent movie-style, the show opens with colonial witches performing The Seven Wonders: Telekinesis, Concilium (mind control), Transmutation, Divination, Vitalum Vitalis (the balancing of scales between one life force to another), Descensum (descent into the netherworld of afterlife), and Pyrokinesis.

Fiona is explaining how dangerous The Seven Wonders are to Queenie. Queenie accuses Fiona of wanting her to perform the ritual so she can kill the next Supreme. Of course, Queenie wants to know where the only other black person on the show is. Fiona figures Marie is off in a netherworld hanging out with Papa Legboo-boo. Queenie says he’s a deity and Fiona should show him some respect. Fiona starts choking Queenie without laying a hand on her. How’s that for some R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Queenie will perform The Seven Wonders or die trying.

Cordelia wants to touch Madison, but not in a sexy way. She wants to touch her to see if The Sight has returned and if she can figure out where Misty is. Madison transmutates her ass off all over the room rather than have Cordelia touch her. She finally gives in saying she has nothing to hide and when Cordelia touches her, she doesn’t see anything.

Now it’s time for CSI: Witchwarts. Queenie is poking around the greenhouse and she can hear Marie cussing Delphine out. There’s a lot of blood on the table and floor so we know nothing good happened there. Queenie decides to try Descensum. I guess she thought Fiona was right and that Marie took a little afterlife vacay. Anyway, she ends up in Chubbie’s, the fried chicken joint in Detroit. And the fact that the manager and all the customers in line are black isn’t even a little bit racist. /sarcasm.

Papa Legba tells her they are in her version of hell. I’ve never worked fast food, but I’m thinking this is a legit representation of hell. He warns her she needs to hurry up and wake the hell up before the sun goes down or she’ll be stuck there forever. When she wakes up, Papa is there and she demands answers. Over hot cocoa, he tells her that Delphine dismembered Marie. The only way to kill Delphine is to kill Marie, and Marie is immortal. Queenie points out that Marie is already in breach of their contract because she’s in pieces all over the city.

Delphine is leading the tour of her own house of horrors, telling the people taking the tour that Delphine was a visionary, ahead of her time, and misunderstood. One lady is like, “That’s funny, ’cause I heard that bitch was cray.” They want to see the attic where all the slaves were murdered. Queenie watches from outside and heads in.

After the people on the tour leave, Queenie confronts Delphine. “A dog always goes back to its vomit,” says Queenie. Delphine says she came to set the record straight and then we see Delphine taking the tour, scoffing at all the facts the tour guide is dropping. She stays behind, claiming she lost her purse and hits the tour guide in the head with a hammer.

The tour guide is still alive, but in a cage in the attic. Queenie wants Delphine to let the woman go and she wants Delphine to make amends for what she’s done. Delphine ain’t about that life. She doesn’t believe in redemption. We see her watching the news and turning her nose up at people like Paula Deen and Anthony Wiener asking for forgiveness. Delphine wasn’t crying during the civil rights video because she was sorry, she was crying for the lies of this country. Lies telling a black man he could ever be equal to a white man. Queenie has heard enough. She stabs Delphine, killing her. I guess Papa Legba had something to do with this.

Fiona is posing for her Supreme portrait by an artist flown in from Europe. During her sitting, she gets a nosebleed and realizes that she probably only has two weeks left. Later, in her bedroom, Fiona looks at some jewelry when Cordelia comes in.

“Did you really think mutilating yourself would restore your power?”

“Right up until I tried it.”

Fiona tells her that the power was always inside of her. She just needed to click her heels three times. Okay. What she really said was that Cordelia’s power was all her own and she could never lose it. Even Fiona can’t take credit for it. She has one more surprise for Cordelia: her grandmother’s necklace. She wants Cordelia to have it. Cordelia touches the necklace and something happens. Not sure what. And Cordelia realizes that Fiona is saying goodbye. Fiona puts the necklace on Cordelia and she finally gets a vision of all the witches dead in the house, including herself, at the hands of Fiona, who rips the necklace from Cordelia’s dead body. She doesn’t share this vision with Fiona, of course, but asks for the ring that goes with the necklace.

Cordelia visits the Axeman and tells him that Fiona plans on killing the witches and leaving him behind. She saw it all in a vision.

Cordelia touches Misty’s things and sees that she’s in a coffin. She pricks her finger and sees exactly where Misty is: the cemetery. Cordelia and Queenie free Misty by Queenie using her power to bust open the tomb and then using Vitalum Vitalis to bring her back to life.

Meanwhile, at the house, Madison speaks with Myrtle. Myrtle tells her that Cordelia has her second sight back and that she and Queenie are off to rescue Misty. Madison claims ignorance. Zoe and Kyle return. Myrtle tells Zoe she has forsaken her destiny. Zoe says she’s embracing it. We see Kyle killed an irate homeless man in Florida and Zoe brought him back to life and now she believes she’s the next Supreme. Misty comes back and beats Madison’s ass. Kyle breaks it up, but is interrupted by the Axeman who is covered in Fiona’s blood.

Axeman confronts Fiona about what Cordelia told him and when she doesn’t deny it, he kills her. Cordelia says he fed Fiona to the gators in the swamp. Even Misty can’t bring that back. They’re about to draw straws for who gets to kill the creep, when Myrtle reasons that he did them a favor. “As Cervantes said, where there’s music there can be no evil.”

“Cervantes never met this asshole,” said Kyle. And I finally liked Kyle. He offers to kill him since he’s the coven guard dog. But Madison takes an axe to the Axeman’s side. “We really don’t need a man to protect us,” says Misty. And then they all stab the Axeman to death. And to death some more. They pretty much overkilled his ass.

Flashback? Dream? No, just Delphine and Marie in hell, which looks a lot like Delphine’s torture attic. Papa Legba says they’re both going to spend all of eternity there with Delphine watching Marie torture her daughter for all eternity.

Welp.

Fiona’s portrait is hung on the wall and everyone has fake nice words except for Cordelia: The Seven Wonders is going down next Sunday and those bitch witches better be ready.

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