American Horror Story: Freak Show - S4E6 - Bullseye
Previously on AHS: Freak Show, ‘Pink Cupcakes’
Elsa has decided she’s going to incorporate her knife-throwing act into her new TV show. You know, the TV show that ain’t gonna happen. She has convinced everyone, including herself, that this will happen. She’s also convinced almost everyone that the twins ran off in the middle of the night. And she wants everyone to focus on her week-long birthday celebration. That’s right, Elsa gets a whole birthday week.
Elsa is also banging Paul, which is not as shocking as learning Paul is banging the candy striper who they all gang-raped in episode one. They’re in love, but he still has to hide under the bed when her father comes sniffing around her room.
Gloria presents Dandy with condoms because inbreeding is bad enough; he can’t go knocking up a two-headed freak. Dandy is determined to make honest women out of Bette and Dot, and has no use for those condoms. Also, Dandy is gay. Bette is completely enamored with Dandy’s act, and because he’s not acting like a complete psychopath, you kinda don’t blame her. Dot is offering up healthy side-eyes every chance she gets, but she tells herself she’ll go along with it because Dandy can afford the separation surgery. She even fantasizes about being a whole person, reunited with Jimmy, and not giving a single fuck that Bette died in the process.
Stanley pressures Esmerelda to turn on Jimmy (since the twins are missing), so she devises a plan to kidnap Ma Petite instead. She’ll lead her out to the barn where he’ll drown her in a jar. We see this via another fake-out scene like the twins’ demise in Pink Cupcakes, so as disturbing as it was, I wasn’t fooled.
Paul has a run-in with Dandy at a convenience store and notices his purchases: all women’s toiletries, but he’s kicked out before he can make his purchase of perfume for his secret love. Convinced that Elsa had something to do with the twins’ disappearance and pretty much sick of her shit, he calls her on all of it after she figures out he has a girlfriend. He goes a step further and tells her everyone in the freak show thinks she did something to Bette and Dot.
Enraged, Elsa wakes everyone up and cusses them out. Ma Petite and Esmerelda are absent from this tongue lashing, so at this point I was wondering if she wasn’t going to get drowned in the barn after all. They all try to calm Elsa’s fears, but she decides the only thing that will make her feel better is if one of them is strapped to the spinning wheel while she throws knives at it. Paul volunteers because he knows this is his fault and he also doesn’t think she’d risk hurting him in front of everyone. She’s actually pretty good - until she misses on purpose and gets him right in the gut.
She has him taken to her quarters and says she’s called an ambulance, but she’s full of shit. When Paul doesn’t show up to meet the candy striper, she tries to sneak out to see him, telling her father to kiss her ass on the way out. She finds him in Elsa’s tent, looking like he’s about to die.
Esmerelda wakes Ma Petite and takes her out to the barn for her “surprise.” Then she places her in a jar so they can play a game. Ma Petite is all, “Like a butterfly?” Aw, bless her gullible heart. The next morning, Ma Petite can’t be found, but all is well when Esmerelda appears with the tiny lady, very much alive. Esmerelda asks Jimmy to run away with her, and he agrees, but he has to do something first. She heads to her tent to pack and finds Stanley. He’s had enough of her stalling. She better lure Jimmy out to the barn or else.
No one feels like celebrating Elsa’s birthday due to Paul probably about to die, but Ethel has baked a cake and tells Elsa she should have a slice of her own cake. And she casually drops this little tidbit: If she ever learns Elsa did anything to the twins and lied about it, she’ll kill Elsa with her own two hands.
Welp.
Dandy wants to know what the twins are writing in their diaries, and tells them a secret in an effort to get them to spill one of theirs. He tells them he is the one who killed Twisty and rescued the kids. Since this would mean Jimmy is liar, Dot doesn’t believe it and refuses to tell him a secret. Bette is like, “Girl, is you stupid? Tell him anything!” But Dot is stubborn and Dandy loses the little bit of sanity he was pretending to have. Later, he reads Dot’s diary and learns that not only is she using him for the money, she can’t stand his ass. Dandy looks at this as a sign he should embrace his darkness because clearly he wasn’t meant to know love. Clearly this motherfucker is crazy. Unfortunately for Jimmy, he arrives there looking for the twins just after Dandy’s epiphany. And Dandy has a big-ass knife in his pants.
I?m only going 2 talk about just a few characters 2 keep this short
Elsa: umm what the fuck is wrong with this woman? I think she is probably the worst character on this show and it sucks because I love Jessica Lange and I even love how she?s portraying Elsa but I really can?t understand this characters motivation. She kind of feels like Fiona Goode from coven without the powers, an old lady that can?t just sit back and be an old lady, she needs 2 be more like Kathy bates character, more relaxed but if you cross her she will fucking shank your ass, reminds me of my grandmother (She was rough)
Emma Roberts: Ok so I?m warming up 2 this character more just not this actress, I like that she didn?t kill the worlds tiniest girl, this is the only time I was happy that the first scene of Emma and Dennis killing ma petite was a fantasy sequence because she is way 2 adorable and the fantasy sequence was enough 2 make me really uncomfortable, hopefully she will sacrifice herself 2 save jimmy, I don?t know how exactly that would happen but a brother can dream. And they really need 2 come down on the spray tan on Evan peters because he is starting 2 look like he belongs on the fucking jersey shore.
Dandy: Dandy gives me life every time he is on screen he is so crazy and over the top I love every moment of it, Finn whittrock is definitely the MVP of this season. I almost feel a little bad that I sent those long ass tweets 2 Nina complaining about how much I hate how straight women talk about gay actors on screen and wishing they were straight or whatever because after I found out that Finn whittrock was straight and just got married I went on a fucking rant 2 my friends and said some not so nice things about his wife who I?m sure is a lovely woman, so I am guilty as charged. All of that aside, he really does make the season really enjoyable for me.
The twins: I want the twins to have the surgery and I want it 2 be dot (I think that?s the one with the permanent bitch face) 2 be the twin that dies because I am really getting tired of her shit.
Seal guy and Meryl Streep?s daughter: ummm don?t care.
Wait how do you know dandy is gay, did i miss something?
Ok, so this week on Freak Show I was almost ready to slam a few sandwiches.
1. Dandy ? Man, fuck you! Seriously. Fuck you. I?m tired of this boy. He needs to go. I kicked an idea about him around on Twitter last night and I wanna see what you all think. It seems to me that in some ways Dandy and joffery from Game Of Thrones are similar. Both are the products of incest, both have serious mommy issues, and both are spoiled rich KIDS. I emphasize kids because on the show, Joffery is around 16 or 17, and from what I?ve heard in the book he?s a little younger. Nina, you can tell us his exact ages since you?ve read the books and watch the show. Dandy, while older in real time is at least Joffery?s age mentally, if not younger. So, he?s essentially a kid in a man?s body. To some degree Twisty was the same, but that?s another story. Anyway, both Joffery and Dandy are also extremely annoying and hated by fans. The differences between them seem to explain why we hate them though. Joffery is as mean and evil a character as I?ve ever seen on TV. He?s a complete piece of shit, and with the exception of a funny moment or two had NO redeeming qualities. You couldn?t even give him the ?Oh, he?s just a kid, he?ll grow out of it? pass. I literally celebrated when he? *signal lost*?Fuck you, Joffery, I don?t think I?ve ever hated a character as much as you. Dandy on the other hand is someone I hate, but it?s because I see him as a brat looking for attention. I was having a conversation with someone on Twitter about this and she said she thinks he MIGHT be able to be saved or fixed if he?s stopped soon. I don?t know if I totally agree with that, but her argument was that all the things he?s doing are for his mother?s attention. I do agree with that. Had she given him more love, attention, let him act, etc. he might not be who he is now. It seems like what he?s doing is a form of punishment for her more than anything else. The problem is that he seems to be starting to enjoy it as well. We?ll see what happens with him.
2. Ma Petite aka Shorty Doo Wop ? I?m glad your lil ass is still alive! Twitter was pissed at the thought of her dying. I?m glad she made it out. She?s so cute.
3. Spaulding/Madison ? Y?all better leave Shorty Doo Wop alone! You two bitches need to die soon.
4. Elsa ? What the fuck? You?re about to get your ?I have no legs? (Nina that?s a Kids reference, lol) ass killed soon. The freaks are gonna find out what you did and pull a Perez. What?s a Perez you ask? It?s when someone jumps all in that ass!
5. Paul, The Playa Seal ? I raise a glass of cognac to the true player of the show, Paul. I have no idea how he aims to pee or wipes his ass, but he?s clearly serving the ladies properly. He brought the angry cougar out of Elsa & has Meryl Strep, Jr. ready to risk life and limb in the lame of Seal Love! Play on, Playa! ARP ARP ARP!!!!
Y’all are killing me here with this feedback! Lmao!
I really liked this episode. Love how twitter was freakin out over Ma Petite. When she was ok, it was like a collective “Phew”