Channel Zero: No-End House - S2E4 - The Exit

Previously on Channel Zero: No-End House, “Beware the Cannibals” 

Yooooo, this episode is intense. Never before has people simply walking down a suburban street filled me with such dread.

The closer the gang gets to freedom, the more everything in them screams to run, but they can’t for fear of triggering the mindless trapped suburbanites looking for people to feed on. They pause at the entrance to the field where Margot and Seth figure the exit would be. While the others carefully wade in, Dylan has to calm Lacey, who still thinks she’s being kidnapped. The Stepford neighbors watch them leave with plastic smiles on their faces. Margot’s father (IMDB says he’s The Father) appears and follows them.

I don’t know how big this damn neighborhood is, but it’s nightfall before they hit the entrance to a cornfield. Nothing good happens in cornfields, but nothing good is happening in this neighborhood so they don’t have a choice. They decide to wait till daybreak, though, before entering. A woman lurks nearby and Dylan warns the others not to get too close. They can only feed on the people who made them, but when they’re hungry they’ll feed on anyone.

After sitting around a campfire for a bit, Seth walks off and Margot follows. Then Jules leaves to go rub on that glowing birthing ball or something. Who knows? Dylan doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, so he zip ties Lacey to Not-JT and warns him that if anything happens to his wife, he’ll kill him. Why he cares so much about where the hell these sneaky teens are going is beyond me, but everyone’s making poor decisions so let’s just go with it.

Seth reveals to Margot that the orchids they’ve been seeing are actually insects that disguise themselves as the flower to lure other insects for food. How does he know this and why is he telling her? Because that’s basically what he is; someone who pretended to be like her to lure her in. She doesn’t take this news well, and wants nothing to do with him. Dylan finds Jules and tries to drag her back, but when he returns to the campsite, he finds the hungry woman has killed Lacey. Realizing that Not-JT is not JT, Dylan stabs him in front of everyone and then sets him on fire. Margot also drops dime on Seth, and no one wants to hear his explanation for how he came to be a regular person who decided to live inside the No-End House. Sure, you can’t trust him, but you would think they’d at least want the details since he’s clearly someone who knows how to leave at will.

They are separated in the cornfield because that’s just the way it goes when you’re running for your life through a cornfield. Margot eventually finds Jules rubbing on that damn ball with a naked version of herself in a pool of goo nearby. Margot drags her away and they run into The Father. He doesn’t really want to hurt them, but he needs to eat so maybe they could just hook him up with a lil summin’ summin’. He may be nothing more than a reflection of her memories, but there’s something inside The Father that stops him from killing them long enough to tell them to run. They run.

When they reach the house, Dylan tells them to escape; he’s going to stay behind and burn everything. They don’t try too hard to get him to come with them. As Margot and Jules navigate through the rooms, each getting increasingly creepier, Dylan tries to stop The Father from following. He stabs him several times before getting his throat snapped. Poor, Dylan.

The girls finally make it to the backyard — the real one this time — and after warning off two guys looking to get in, they drive home. A bit later, The Father exits the house as well.

… when Dylan suggested waiting till morning (AGAIN) to leave. Seriously. Why did it take a whole-ass day to reach the cornfield? Also, it didn’t make much of a difference and they would have all made it had they not stopped for a campfire.

… when Seth just walked off all creepy like and acted like he didn’t hear Dylan asking him 50’leven times where the hell he was going.

… when I found my best friend dry humping a glowing birth ball of whateverthefuckthatis.

… when The Father told me to run THE FIRST TIME.