Empire - S2E3 - Fires of Heaven
Previously on Empire, ‘Without a Country’
Lucious may be out on bail, but he’s not allowed inside Empire’s HQ. No matter, he’s busy throwing himself a welcome home party at Leviticus, complete with an appearance by Pitbull. Acting on a tip from Anika, Cookie crashes the party with Hakeem, who steals the spotlight by performing his latest song.
It’s not all musical highlights for Hakeem this week, though. Coached by Cookie, his new group’s first public performance is a casualty in Lucious’ retaliation. He steals Valentina (Becky G.) from Lyon Dynasty, and buys the radio station willing to play their music. Damn.
Perhaps intimidated by Hakeem’s new grittier sound, Lucious desperately tries to sign Frank Gathers’ daughter to Empire. Let’s just hope he doesn’t slip her his bone, as promised.
Cookie’s best line:
“I’m not talking to you, Guadalupe! You need to find yo drawers.”
Number of times you wanted to slap Hakeem: 2
When he agreed to have Mirage-a-Tois on Sway’s show knowing good and damn well those girls weren’t ready.
Also, when he named that group Mirage-a-Tois.
Most triflin’ character:
Lucious. The way he treats Andre is filthy. I could see this character attempting suicide at the rate he’s going. Oh! And, um, did they really have him flex in a woman’s face like he was going to hit her? STAHP.
Runner up: Valentina. I know it’s her career and she’s ambitious, but daaaaamn.
Health check-up:
Out of jail, and presumably taking his non-ALS meds, Lucious was fine. No pregnancy update (or confirmation) on Rhonda, though Andre tells both of his parents they’re going to be grandparents. Cookie is thrilled and suggests Andre use this news to emotionally blackmail Lucious into letting him back into Empire. Andre takes her up on this (kinda) and Lucious calls him out.
Who Says That?
Jamal: “They can’t stop a king from speaking to his subjects.”
Lucious: “Blasphemy. I’m a god.”
Serving Alexis Carrington Realness:
When Cookie tugged the tablecloth as she walked out the room, taking every damn place setting, platter, and goblet with her.
Who should jump the line for relationship counseling:
Lucious and Andre, again. Upon learning about the baby, Lucious immediately wonders if Andre isn’t worried that his mental illness will be passed down to the child. Since no one else in their family is bipolar, Andre isn’t concerned. Another flashback confirms what we already suspected last week: Lucious’ mother was bipolar.
How Sway?:
How do contracts work in this universe? Did Mirage-a-Tois not have a contract with Lyon Dynasty? I would imagine they’d get SOMETHING in writing before they commit to a group name, appearances, choreography. How are artists so quickly swooped up by competitors? How are they always in danger of being taken? How, Sway?
Best Family Moments:
Both moments of joy (first with Cookie, then with Lucious) over a new grandchild felt genuine… until Lucious fucked it up.
Best minor character moments:
Portia dabbing the sweat from Cookie while training Mirage-a-Tois.
The BET award goes to:
Bout 2 Blow (feat. Yazz and Timbaland)
Leave your thoughts on the episode in the comments and we’ll read them on tonight’s Empire podcast!
Empire S2E3
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Drama & Shade - 8/108/10
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Music - 8/108/10
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Entertaining - 8.5/108.5/10
Summary
This episode feels on par with the dramatic storytelling we fell in love with last season. Plenty of laugh out loud moments as well, plus solid performances by Taraji, Terrence, and Trai. The music still isn’t hitting as hard as season one, but ‘Bout 2 Blow’ is hot. Cookie’s wardrobe was deliciously extra.
FOR THE PODCAST
*In Baby Wipes watery voice* You need a God to produce you. I’ll produce you.
God I cannot stand Pitbull any collaboration with him makes the music suck. Did I say that song with pitbull sucked? It sucked.
Yay Porshe is back!
Guadalupe? Dead. Cookie is the best. She is so fucking hood. When she hit Baby Wipes with “I’m always gon eat but just not with you” and pulled all the food on the floor, I cheered. Guadalupe is getting on my damn nerves acting like a fucking child! Dude she need to stop with the kid shit. That song sounded like spoiled milk and how in the hell did push ups turn those women into marginally better dancers? That is not how push ups work.
Hakeem’s song was hot. Also, Mirage (or was it Menage) a trois? Really? Thats the name Hakeem came up with? Baby Wipes did drop him on his head. And then Baby Trainer dumb ass said he would bring that group to sway. How sway? Baby Trainer is pissing me off.
Baby Wipes a god? Hell naw. Not with that watery ass voice. When he ate that cherry, i gagged so much because his face looked like he was trying to be sexy. And that built up tension line he gave Ms. Ford was nasty too. And I cannot forget the arm around Guadalupe either. All of it was burning my retinas.
Poor Dre. He is always getting treated like shit. It doesn’t matter what he does, Baby Wipes won’t trust him. I mean Dre has a beard and everything. But Dre should have known not to trust Baby Wipes because he doesn’t have one. Has Baby Wipes ever had one in the show? Hmmm. And oh lookie, Jamal is getting screwed already because Baby Wipes is trying to sign hood rat McGee instead of paying attention to him. Don’t trust him Jamal!
And lastly, Anika’s, “you are badder than all the animals whose prints populate your wardrobe” line was excellent. I really hope they use Anika for something this season. And please bring back good music for Jamal. I have gotten a good song from Hakeem and Tiana but none from Jamal. Overall, I loved the episode.
FOR THE PODCAST
That dinner was crazy. While it ended with the Dine-ass-tee music, the family dinner felt so Dallas - everyone around the table side-eyeing each other, some begging (Andre), some quiet and good-soldier-like (Jamal) and others with the grandiose proclamations (Lucious, Cookie and Hakeem). I LOVED it.
On Anika and Lucious meeting… eeeew! Did Lucious actually say that she would have allowed her to hook up with Hakeem because he only wants the best for him? The way he treats and speaks to and about women is just disgusting.
Question for the group: do we know the age differences between the brothers? Hakeem thinks that he’s on par with his brothers. Asking Andre if he knows about hostile takeovers and asking Cookie why she doesn’t trust him as much as Jamal. Seriously, kid?
Oooo Andre being super creative with buying radio stations. So smart! CFOs geting it! *fist pounding my brother*
Jamal calling Chris Rock’s daughter “evil little ass” was perfect. Speaking of which, she was SO MUCH SCARIER than her gangster leading father.
Pitbull. His music is hit or miss with me. But I dig that song. Hot jam. Speaking of hot, Ellen, isn’t your mom hot for him?
What was Cookie wearing? Was that a sweater or a bunch of chains? Dressing like Mr T again!
Question for the group: Do you think that Cookie knew that Lucious would know that Andre was using the baby news to get back in his good graces? And therefore push him closer to joining her at Dynasty?
OMG, Cookie doing choreography with Rainbow Sensation with that stick, she totally looked like Debbie Allen in “Fame” and when she said “y’all want fame but don’t want to put in the work” I swear we were going to get a Fame shoutout and hear her say, “and this is where you pay… in sweat.” But seriously, I like their song, the beat is hot. Although, it reminded me of old school Expose. “where you at, come get it, just do it!!” Words to live by. Thank you, Rainbow Sensation. 5-6-7-8.
And where are the Empire Drinking game rules? Here are three new additions: every time Luscious calls himself a god, every time Andre calls Lucious “Pop,” and every time we hear the word dynasty (but you need to say DINE-ass-tee first before you drink).
Look forward to hearing the podcast and what y’all think of the ep.
Hostile Takeover count-thrice; maybe they’ll get it down to once by next week.
Lucious needs lessons in #BlackFatherhood from Papa Joe. He continually dogs his children and keeps raising the bar on impossible tasks for them to prove themselves to him. Not sharing his mother’s history with Andre or his brothers makes the situation worse. But we have to remember he’s a God-so he can do whatever he wants. So until Lucious acts with a modicum of sense the boys need to handle him properly. Andre needs to stop begging his father to rejoin Empire and to also stop calling him Pop. Jamal needs to be weary of Lucious. Hakeem needs to just………
Loved Annika’s shady line to Cookie about her animal prints. Cookie’s weakness is showing. She needs to stop shooting herself in the foot and actually work with Annika instead of hating her so much. Speaking of Cookie she had that old school dance teacher/choreographer stick during Mirage a Trois rehearsals; those used to give me nightmares.
FOR THE PODCAST:
This episode left me full of questions:
Am I the only one unimpressed with young Fantasia aka Freda’s lyrical flow? If Frank Gather’s had the connect how come he left his daughter in the hood struggling? Are they trying to create sexual tension between the DA and Lucious? YUCK. What the hell new-fangled chainmail meets gold chain inspired outfit was Cookie wearing at that party? Why was Pitbull aggressively grabbing Cookie like that? Couldn’t tell if he was going to be friendly or not. How did Valentina have time to get that solo song under her belt?
This is the Empire we’ve come to love-this week was fun!
Last night I learned that God is the only person that can produce Jamal’s tracks. I’m still a fan but the start lines need to get back to what we love. I love Anika being strong and petty. I want Andre to stop begging to come back to Empire. Snow 🐇 needs to get out that bib so that Andre can figure out their next venture. I want the old Jamal back. The Mal that had his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel and was sweet to his brothers. Also, we haven’t had any song remixes.
I guess we’re supposed to do FOR THE PODCAST:
Something is missing for me with the show. I can’t quite put my finger on it but something is missing.
Wasn’t a fan of this week’s music at all.
Hakeem needs to take his little ass back to school!!!
I love Cookie! I can’t say that enough. Plus loved the Debbie Allen in Fame throwback moment.
Lucious is the devil. I want to hurt him so bad for the way he treats Andre. Plus she used his idea! Ugh! Clearly Lucius never got therapy for having grown up with a parent that suffers from mental illness. He really needs to sit down with Andre and a non Jennifer Hudson crotch singing therapist and hash all that shit out!
That’s it. I will be covering my eyes if Lucious & his stalker, aka the delusional/inappropriate clothing federal prosecutor finally get down to it cause you know they will. Ewww!
Can’t wait to hear the podcast!
FOR THE PODCAST
Let’s Start with cookie, man my favorite line was when she said “Jesus Christ couldn’t save you without burning his hands” I was rolling on the floor, i mean if jésus is getting 2nd degree burns from yo ass you in trouble Dwight!! I was happy to see she let 💩💩 kitty back in bc I couldn’t stand dem cakes twisting in the wind!(maybe twerking though). Also a single tear did fall from my eye when she pulled all that food on the floor!! I was like damn can nigga get a carry out for you make a scene!!
Next is the whole welcome home party!!! Jamal and pit bull killed it!! But of course Hakeem shut it down when he and timbaland crashed the stage!! It was so good for once timbaland’s head didn’t even bother me!! Also I gotta say we know Hakeem’s DJ is a woman and she was killin it last night!! I was like hey boo 👋🏾
Lastly is Dwight!! Oh where to begin? First if he was willing to forgive them, why is Andre not allowed back in? Clearly he’s not apart of the Lyon Dynasty label so this whole dinner made no sense!! Then let’s flash forward to hearing the baby news, was I the only one expecting him to say that white baby can’t be a Lyon? I mean even though he was genuinely happy his ain’t shitness still shone through and it was glorious!! I love every horrible thing this light skinneded devil does!! Also I agree something terrible is gonna happen and he will have to reveal Kelly Rowland was bipolar too!! Oh and it looks like the prosecutor does own 1 top that don’t show them thangs so kudos to her!!
That’s all I got can’t wait to hear the podcast