Fear the Walking Dead - S2E1 - Monster
Special thanks to Amy on Twitter for inspiring this review format and for her input on Alicia’s entry.
Previously on Fear the Walking Dead
Dear Diary,
Life aboard Strand’s boat, Abigail, isn’t so bad. It’s a really nice yacht. Things could be worse. We could be back on the beach being eaten by the undead. There were so many fires in the city. So many that they pushed the monsters towards the shore and us. We had to leave Strand’s house pretty quickly, which sucks because that house was amazing.
It took several trips in the motorboat, and I heard Madison and Travis had to kill a few of the monsters because Chris refused to leave his dead mother’s body. I feel for the kid. I miss my mom. I don’t know that I’d have insisted on bringing her corpse with us, but…
Anyway, I think Madison said we’re headed for San Diego. Hopefully, the military there has things under control. Better than the ones back home… and that asshole who shot me.
I’m gonna check on Daddy. He’s been fishing and spending a bit of time with Chris (that poor, poor kid). Also, I need to figure out what that smell is.
Ofelia
Dear Diary,
I do not trust Strand one bit. Even if he did save my life. How did… such a man amass such nice things? He doesn’t even sleep, so concerned we may run into trouble on these open waters. Though, I can respect that. A man can never be too careful. Yet, I will watch him.
I am grateful for Strand’s nice fishing poles. I’ve been using them to catch food for us. I caught a nice eel earlier. Not the best, but it’s a start.
Dios mio! What is that smell? I don’t think it’s the eel.
Daniel
Dear Diary,
Everyone on this boat is fucking crazy. And you know it’s bad if I’m saying it and I’m the junkie! I tried to give Ofelia some advice on how to tend to her gunshot wound, but she treated me like the help. Chris is constantly sitting with his mother’s body. Hopefully we’ll soon get to a point where we can dump her body. I mean, give her a service.
Supplies are limited. We didn’t have time to grab much before the dead ones showed up. It was crazy. Funny that we found time to take a whole corpse though.
Alicia’s being a weirdo. She’s spending all her time manning the radio. Strand said we need to be careful. He didn’t even let us stop for people on a raft, so he damn sure doesn’t want us talking to people we don’t know, telling them all of our business, and then giving them our coordinates. I’m sure it will be fine, though. Alicia is weird, but she’s not stupid.
Gotta go. I think someone just jumped in the ocean!
Nick
Dear Diary,
I’ve been talking to this dreamy guy, Jack, on the ship’s radio. Jack has so many funny questions that aren’t at all creepy or intrusive. Like, “How many people are on your boat?” Or, “Do you have food or weapons?” “Really, tell me about the weapons first.”
I thought I would never get over what’s-his-name who’s only been dead for two weeks. But I think I might have found love again. And his name is Jack! This is just like The Titanic, but less tragic. Well, maybe just as tragic. Actually, more tragic. But whatevs!
Strand said I shouldn’t be talking on this thing and telling people about us, but he was too stupid to take it away from me and mom is busy being a mother to Chris since he just lost his, soooo… What.Evs.
Alicia
P.S. Something on this boat smells like ass.
Dear Diary,
I’m not trying to be funny or anything, but I’m kinda glad Chris got all up in his feelings and harshly pushed Liza’s corpse into the ocean. It.was.getting.RIPE.
But then he jumped in the ocean, interrupting dinner, and I thought for sure he was trying to kill himself. Nick did too, and he jumped in after him. That’s my boy. Travis didn’t jump in after his own son, but I was going to let it pass since I was sure Travis couldn’t swim. Or maybe he was in shock.
Then it turned out that Chris was just going for a swim in the ocean during the zombie apocalypse (as you do) and Nick decided to join him. But then they found this shipwreck and there were floating dead ones, and then I couldn’t see Nick anymore! He was screaming and Travis jumped in after him and I was like, “Damn. I guess he can swim. Huh.”
I don’t know what Nick was doing under that capsized boat riddled with bullet holes. I hope he wasn’t looking for drugs.
Madison
Captain’s Log - Day Three
Lord Jesus. Please give me the strength to not kill these people. I might need them for fish bait later.
Old Man Salazar keeps looking at me like I’m gonna steal my own damn boat. Madison thinks she runs shit. Wants me to stop for strangers and follow phantom music on the water looking for survivors. Tuh. She better go sit down. #DatPrivilege
Then her daughter using up all my radio minutes sexting with some stranger!
They’re lucky I have a soft spot for crazy-ass Nick, who, for some reason, is still wearing those old man clothes. Well, junkies gonna junkie.
Aw, shit. I’m picking up an incoming boat on the radar. And it’s moving fast.
Strand
Fear the Walking Dead S2E1
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6/10
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8/10
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6/10
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8.5/10
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10/10
Summary
These people are too stupid to live. At this point I’m rooting for the walkers to eat everyone except Strand and Nick, and the latter only because I want to see how long he’ll wear that old dead man’s clothes.
Love this review style Nina!
Thank you!
This was a creative and hilarious recap. I might have to give in and watch.
FOR THE PODCAST: So Alycia Dabney Carey left her bad ass role on the 100 FOR THIS😠😡 I’m guessing the cheque is a lot bigger. Fuck everyone on this show except for Nick and Strand. Nick can stay because even in his old man clothes he is still Hot AF and Strand can Stay because he is a mother fucking G who isn’t here for this white ladies shit (THIS AINT YOUR FUCKING BOAT MADDIE STOP TRYING TO MAKE DEMANDS) i Strand to throw all their asses overboard. Listen, there would have been a chris shaped hole in that wall if he ever punched me like that, and this mother fucker made them risk their lives to bring his damn mother on that fucking boat just so he can chuck it overboard like a whiney bitch, FUCK THAT BOY. If this season ends with Strand standing over the corpses of this whole family i am going to cheer. Oh ya, now the family is probably going to attacked by pirates because just had to talk 2 a boy who is probably a 50 year old man and a Rapist #notmycommander. So that’s my feedback for today, cant wait to hear your podcast.
Oh my god I’m crying! Best review ever. 😂😂😂😂
FOR THE P-…oh. Damn.
Welp…stellar review!