Jane the Virgin - S2E22 - Chapter Forty-Four

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Previously on Jane the Virgin, “Chapter Forty-Three” 

Jane’s Rogelio’s Big Day

Rogelio throws Jane the perfect wedding to marry her perfect man and it was great.

We were toyed with, teased, kept in suspense for something bad to happen. But each issue melted away. The bride’s snippiness is short-lived and resolved. Mateo’s take down of the priest is laughed away. Pre-wedding doubts are put to rest by some pre-marital conversation (thanks to the perfect groom). Jane tells Ro and Xo to zip their Esta-drama until after the nuptials. Jane is successful in being both a grad student and a bride. She’s only a little late to her wedding thanks to the Sexiest Bus in Miami. Rafael surprisingly keeps his feelings to himself and there are no clichéd objections. Bruno Mars sings Jane and Michael’s first song. Father and daughter get down for their first dance.

It had heart. It had laughs. It had drama without losing sight of its inherent optimism. I really enjoyed two-thirds of this finale.

And yet. Telenovela.

Jane’s (not so) Big Night

This episode started off with Jane and Michael getting steamy and anticipating an even steamier night ahead. Unfortunately, they didn’t check the name of the show they were on before fantasizing.

Why Michael decided ice came before sex is anyone’s guess. Once he left the room everyone guessed he was not going to return. Very few might have guessed his partner would shoot him. Willing to bet no one guessed Susannah would Mission Impossible-style rip her face mask off to reveal her true identity. This Rose just won’t die. Michael might die, if that snow globe is any indication. Blah.

Xo (is not) the Virgin

Rogelio finds out Xiomara slept with his arch-nemesis and handled it with very little drama. Which, considering Rogelio, is astonishing and a nice subversion of expectations. They have a very grown-up conversation – they both still want what they want and remain at an impasse. Good job having your characters stick to their life goals.

Unfortunately, Esta-bun’s super sperm ruins everything. I suppose we are expected to ask ourselves if Rogelio will accept Xo’s demon spawn as his own. However, I had really hoped for more with Xiomara. One of her main reasons for not having more children was to focus on herself and her career. She made a few half-hearted attempts before falling into the arms of her ex’s rival. Grrr.

Petra Aneska-fied

Petra is just bonding with her children over their shared sense of sadistic humor when her evil twin drugs her, dyes her hair, hospitalizes her, and takes her place. And then sleeps with a moony (for Jane)-eyed Rafael. There was no doubt Petra-swapping was in Aneska’s plan. Or that she would sleep with Rafael. We deserved better. Evil twins gotta evil twin, I suppose. But I don’t like it. Ugh.

Moments

Best Moments

• Esta-buns and the Sex Basket
• Michael says his vows in Spanish. This where it got misty for me
• Rogelio and Jane’s dance. They got moves and like to perform. So good.
• Alba’s truth about her spicy wedding – love these ladies laughing together and use of Pablo Alonso Segura’s theme in the background.

Side-eye Moments

• Michael and Susannah speculate their boss must be the department mole. This felt shoe-horned in and cued us to their boss not being the mole.
• Face mask. Really? Rose. REALLY?
• Michael getting shot. Melodramatic. And, at this point, totally expected.
• Xo’s pregnancy. See above rant.

Looking Forward

• Michael better not die. Or if he dies, he better come back. Of course, if he comes back he’ll likely have amnesia. Or be a zombie. If you have sex with a zombie ghost, it doesn’t count, right?
• Rafael had better save Petra. And fall in love with her. The real her, not her evil twin.
• Luisa better kill Rose. Or Jane better kill Rose. Or zombie Michael better eat Rose’s face off.
• Xiomara better not be pregnant and she better get her life together. She could work on an album. She could be the next YouTube sensation. She could sing in low-lit lounges and/or airport bars. Just not pregnant.