Jane the Virgin - S3E19 - Chapter Sixty-Three

Previously on Jane the Virgin, “Chapter Sixty-Two”

Images: The CW

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jane. Jane was on whole a nice girl, but had the capacity to be nosey and self-centered. This story is about her. Sigh.

The Villain in My Own Story

Jane’s ex-boyfriend and child’s father used to be in love with Jane, but is now in love with his ex-wife (long story). He asks Jane to help convince his ex-wife to take another chance at their relationship. This went against Jane’s self-interest. She made her opinion known across the land — getting back together for these two would only lead to disaster. But alcohol can be a powerful potion. Under the influence, Jane realizes she’s being a selfish jerk. She drunk talks with her ex-boyfriend and his ex-wife and convince them to give it another shot. Why they needed her approval in the first place, is anybody’s guess.

Not Your Fairy Godmother

Jane’s parents decided to get married (long story) and wanted a proper, fairy tale wedding. Jane, ever eager to please, appoints herself wedding planner. And almost ruins everything. Thankfully, her parents are adults (sort of) and take matters into their own hands. Jane gets drunks with her mother, has vicarious fun with a male stripper, and agrees to officiate at her parents wedding. Let’s hope she doesn’t screw it up.

Strings on Me

Jane’s prince came and went and now she’s sleeping with a sexy toad. But for the toad, there are always strings attached. Jane is on the precipice of breaking up with the toad when she learns he has something she needs for her parents’ wedding (long story). She forgoes being a Real Girl and lies to the toad. Sadly, the toad turns into a slut-shaming jerk when he learns of her deception. He throws a fit, Jane’s father throws down a glove, and Jane throws a punch. Then the studio executives come in to break it up, free Jane from the toad’s clutches, and save this story from going anywhere.

Footnotes

• Petra overhears Rafael leaving a message to Luisa about a positive cancer diagnosis. Thankfully, she acts like a real person and confronts him.
• The stripper was a little awkward, but I loved Gina Rodriguez dancing in the background
• …but Rafael’s cancer is back, right?
• Jane tells her mother her jealousy over Petra and Rafael is not romantic; it’s the fear of being left out
• …but it really is a little romantic, right?
• Luisa comes back and Rose is captured and unmasked. The End of this plotline?