Nailbiter #16

Previously in Nailbiter #15

Kids are stupid. We know this. It’s why we don’t let them do important things with long-standing consequences. We can all look back and name at least five instances where we did something as a kid that should have resulted in our deaths, but you know what they say about God and fools and babies.

And thank goodness for that because without the stupidity of children I wouldn’t have had laugh-out-loud moments while reading this issue of Nailbiter. 

When Ding-Dong-Ditch Goes Wrong

Three kids are about to embark on their annual tradition of knocking on Warren’s door and running. As childhood pranks go, this one is pretty tame until you factor in that Warren is missing and he might very well open the door. Or worse.

So, it was of no surprise that the kids ventured inside when no one answers (stupid, remember?) or that when Warren appeared from the shadows two of the kids took off, leaving the third fallen kid behind. Besides being stupid, kids are also notorious flat-leavers.

Luckily, Warren has a code against killing kids so he just patches up this poor kid’s boo-boo and sends him on his way with an amazing (and probably unbelievable) story to tell his raggedy-ass friends who left him. Warren’s headed out of town for a bit, possibly on the trail of an upcoming Buckaroo Butcher.

Meanwhile, Crane sits vigil at Alice’s bedside and explains to Morty the Mortician (how did I not notice that before?) the story behind giving Alice up for adoption. The short of it: Ain’t nobody tryna raise a serial killer’s child in the town notorious for breeding serial killers.

Finch stops in to say goodbye and he and Crane are shocked to learn Carroll is awake. Unfortunately, Finch’s reunion with his friend will have to wait since Barker had Carroll moved to a secret facility for debriefing. She’s also been nursing wicked headaches and I cannot wait for her to snap. It’s gotta be glorious, right?

The conclusion of this arc hints that we’ll be leaving Buckaroo for a bit, and I’m okay with that. A grisly murder in Georgia ensures that the location may change, but the carnage and horror we love (you know you love it!) will remain.