Pretty Little Liars - S5E21 - Bloody Hell

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Previously on Pretty Little Liars, ‘Pretty Isn’t the Point’

The Liars (minus Hanna) come a’calling at the prison with their tails between their legs. They have to tell Alison about Mona’s plan and how they were wrong about her being a murderer. Alison takes it pretty well, all things considered. I would have shown my natural black ass had it been me, but I’m petty and I hold grudges. Alison even gives Aria a heads up that she has to tell her attorneys about what Mike told them. Aria begs her for a little time until they can find out who A. is. She’s worried A will try to hurt Mike. Alison agrees to hold off as long as she can. Sheeeeiiit. Like I said, better than me.

Spencer

Spencer’s mom is not happy that Spencer blew off school to visit Alison. She tells her that her poor decisions stop now. Ha! Don’t hold your breath, Mrs. Hastings. With some help from Wren, she got Spencer an interview at Oxford so Spencer is getting on the next thing smoking headed overseas.

Mrs. Hastings visits Alison to find out what Spencer wanted. She won’t tell her. Instead, she talks about taking the stand, which Mrs. H. warns her against. She’s going to do it, and she asks Mrs. H. to be her coach. Later, Alison finds that someone wrote TOLD EVERYTHING under Mona’s name that Alison had written in dust earlier. Then she finds a creepy doll and threatening note from A under bunk.

Spencer arrives in London to find that Wren and Melissa aren’t home, and won’t be back until the next day. She’s stuck with their annoying flatmate.

Her interview goes well until a vial of blood leaks in her bag, onto the chair and floor. That’s embarrassing. She has to rush out and calls Aria to rant and squeal. A sends her text that implies there might be more blood in her luggage. Spencer really wants to go home now, but is scared as shit to get on a plane. The flatmate manages to calm her down and get her to agree to stay for dinner.

Mrs. H. calls and leaves a message for Spencer: She wants her to cancel her flight and stay in London. Something has her shaken, but we don’t learn what it is.

Aria

Aria tries to get some law advice from Mrs. Hastings on the low. First, Mrs. Hastings has to explain what attorney-client privilege is and how Aria doesn’t have it. How the fuck is that child this far in life without knowing that? Anyway, she pays a dollar and asks what kind of trouble Mike could be in, without revealing his name or details. The answer: a lot.

Poor Andrew is being stood up for tutoring sessions and when he asks Aria out, she insists it needs to be as friends because she’s still with Ezra. Andrew is now on my Shady List.

Aria finds Cyrus - he’s in a hospital after suffering an injury at work. Aria convinces Hanna to go with her to see him so they can hopefully find out who A is. Turns out, Cyrus is pretty fucked up in the burn unit. He’s able to write that he wasn’t in an accident - CARJACK. In the elevator, Hanna realizes he wrote VARJACK, a reference to a character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and since he misspelled it, she deduces that he must not have ever seen it written down. If it’s A’s alias, then they must have spoken.

That night, Aria falls in Mike’s room and Andrew comes to her rescue. Looks like something went wrong with Mike’s workout bench and it could have killed him. Then Aria and Andrew kiss.

Emily

Emily meets one of the pageant’s officials and learns that the competition is going to be a bigger time commitment than she thought. She asks Talia to cover a few of her shifts, but she can’t because it’s Talia’s last day. Welp.

When Emily finds out that Talia’s husband put her out after she told him everything about how she really feels, Emily offers to let Talia stay with her. Talia says yes and I feel like this is one big set-up.

Later, Talia walks in on Emily’s dance rehearsal and this show is just looking for reasons to have Shay Mitchell shake her ass and I’m here for it. Anyway, Emily admits that part of her is doing the pageant for herself as well as Hanna. Then they dance.

The lady from the pageant arrives and tells Emily she may have an issue with their morality clause. At first Emily thinks it’s because she’s gay. But it’s about her connection to Alison’s case. The board is worried their sponsors will drop out. Talia flips it and threatens the pageant: What if people found out they were bullying and discriminating against Emily? Maybe the sponsors should give Emily some money?

What the hell is wrong with Talia?

Hanna

Hanna didn’t go to see Alison because unlike the other girls, she actually did visit Alison in prison once to deliver a bit of nanny-nanny-boo-boo/I totally fucked you over. And that’s understandable.

Ashley has been forgiven by Ted and her talk with Hanna about forgiving yourself when seeking forgiveness drives Hanna to see Alison in jail.

Alison apologizes for how she treated them and asks if they can start over. Hanna says yes, but only with complete honesty. Then she asks, “Who’s Varjak?”

Thoughts & Questions:

• When Hanna referenced Emily “popping and locking” Hanna’s way into college, that was hilarious.
• The rude nurse in the burn unit - can we get her back every week? Maybe give her a job at the school?
• Am I the only one suspicious of Talia AND Andrew? I don’t think Talia is involved with A, but she’s just too messy and suspect for me.
• Talia’s blackmail was confusing: Was she implying that they would let people think they were urging Emily to quit because she’s gay and not because she’s friends with Alison?
• What did Mrs. Hastings see to make her call Spencer?

Have you guys seen the fan theories on YouTube? Good Lord. Excuse me while I spend the next two days watching them all.

http://youtu.be/1yqrECL07A0