Pretty Little Liars - S7E6 - Wanted: Dead or Alive

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Previously on Pretty Little Liars, “Along Comes Mary”

Pretty Little Liars S7E6 “Wanted: Dead or Alive | Starring: Troian Bellisario, Ashley Benson, Lucy Hale, Sasha Pieterse, Ian Harding, Keegan Allen, Tyler Blackburn, Janel Parrish

Aria

Aria dipped out on Ezra’s proposal without answering, so she spent much of this episode ducking his calls. After getting some advice from Hanna, who confessed that she’s been walking around with a cubic zirconia on her ring finger, Aria comes clean and tells Ezra everything about A.D., Elliot, and burying his body. She’s sure he won’t want to marry her anymore, but if being underage didn’t stop him, what’s a bit of murder and blackmail? Confident that they’re now secrets-free (minus the whole “your dead girlfriend called and I didn’t tell you”) Ezra proposes again and this time Aria accepts. At least, that’s what I think happened; I couldn’t hear anything over Aria’s sweater.

Alison

Thanks to A.D. leaving the jacket from evidence in Alison’s closet, she knows her friends turned her in. She rightfully points out that they thought Hanna’s life meant more than hers. No, they counter, we just really, really, really thought you were a murderer… again.

Reminder: These girls are BEST friends.

The police have every reason to think Elliot is hiding out nearby, perhaps to attack Alison, so they provide her with 24-hour police security. But this is Rosewood, so of course the cop parked outside Alison’s house is A.D. in another latex mask. He almost gets her, too, but he’s (or she’s) scared off.

Hanna

Hanna is freaking the entire fuck out because Elliot called them and Elliot’s supposed to be dead and buried. She and Aria take a trip out to his grave and discover his stinking, rotting, nasty-ass corpse is right where they left it. So, who in the hell is running around Rosewood terrorizing them? The girls are sure it’s a combination of Jenna/Sara or Jenna/Sara/Mary Drake or Jenna/Sara/Mary Drake/an some unknown. Basically, these girls have too many damn enemies and they’re not even 25.

Spencer

You know how when you finally stop looking for something it pops up? Well, Caleb finally rears his head to have a sit-down with Spencer. He admits he is confused and she thanks him for helping her love again after Toby. There’s tears and wishful looks, and then Caleb leaves, closing the door on the most chemistry-less relationship in Pretty Little Liars history. No, wait. That goes to Paige and Emily. All jokes aside, I like Spencer and Caleb (Spaleb? Cacer? What portmanteau are the cool kids using?) when they were all grown and sexy with it. Then it became angsty and a tad desperate and I don’t watch this show for that!

Now that Hanna has ditched her Cracker Jacks ring, I give it two episodes (tops!) before she’s back in bed with Caleb. I have no problem with that.

Emily

Emily delivers drinks to Jenna’s room and quietly snoops through her laptop while Jenna sits across the room playing the flute in the middle of the day in her hotel room… as you do. Sara busts Emily and Jenna finally explains why she’s being a creepy creeper who creeps, again. Turns out, she was friends with Charlotte and visited her in the hospital. She was witness to her love affair with Elliot (Archer), though she suspected that Alison would find a way to ruin her sister’s happiness. Jenna was also helping Charlotte locate her birth mother. The message she left for Archer was demanding answers regarding Charlotte’s death. Meanwhile, Sara is looking scared as hell and comes thisclose to telling Emily way too much before Jenna shuts that shit down. She does manage to get out that they’re not out to hurt the Liars; she’s trying to protect Emily.

Unfortunately, someone should have been protecting Sara because by episode’s end, her ass is dead.

You know who I’m living for? Mary Drake. I can’t tell whose side she’s really on, she’s suspect as hell, and always has an explanation for her sketchiness. “You don’t believe me? Look at this c-section scar!”

She seems to be three steps ahead of the Liars and doesn’t hesitate to deliver A-Grade shade right to their faces. She’s a breath of fresh air for a show that has declawed damn near every fierce woman character. Exhibit A: Where the hell is Mona?