Scandal - S3E9 - YOLO

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Previously on Scandal, “Vermont Is For Lovers, Too” 

Dental, damn! 

I guess Quinn didn’t run last week because Huck has her ass naked and bound on the plastic-covered floor with duct tape over her mouth. He’s going to take out her teeth first, even though she begs and says she didn’t do anything. He’s seen the video, stupid! He showed you a screenshot when you walked in! He’s going to enjoy this shit, too. So much so that he licks her face. That didn’t bother me. The fact that his tongue came so damn close to licking her eyeball did.

 

Before he can yank out a tooth, Olivia calls with the news that her mom is alive. He tells Olivia to run to the safehouse and he’ll meet her there. Quinn gets a reprieve.

Not really. Huck has time to yank out one of her teeth before he leaves. YOLO!

Welp. I hope Pope & Associates offers dental.

Flip Flop

Sally is about to sign her documents entering the presidential race as an Independent, but first, Leo makes her swear that she’s now pro-choice. It takes a bit, and she damn near chokes on the words. But she does.

Pimping Ain’t Easy

Cyrus can’t sleep because visions of James and Daniel are dancing in his head. James is sitting up, furiously pecking away at his laptop. So much to write about Daniel Langston! “He really went deep,” James says. Cyrus damn near smothers himself with his own pillow.

The Great Escape

At the safehouse, Abby and Harrison want answers, but Jake and Huck don’t know any more than they do. Olivia is cowering in a corner, and Mama Pope ain’t talking. Yet. Abby demands to know where she’s been for 22 years. Maya says she found out what Eli did for a living, gathered files, and was going to blow the whistle to a reporter in London, but Eli found out, and had her imprisoned for 22 years under the name Omar Dresden.

 

That doesn’t explain the dirty bomb Big Jerry said was on the plane back in episode 7, lady!

Anyway, she escaped so everything is okay now. Not quite. Jake and Huck know that no one escapes from Command and they push Maya face down on the table to remove a tracking device from the back of her neck. Good thing they did that because Charlie and two other B613 agents show up, tracking the device, only to find it on the table in a pool blood and Olivia and crew are already gone.

While Eli is telling his men how to hunt them down, Olivia and her peeps are in a motel, making moves to cover their tracks and get Mama Pope to Hong Kong. Olivia hands out orders to her team and Mama Pope takes notice of that. She tells Huck to stay with them at the motel. That means Quinn’s ass got more time to try and escape. Speaking of that ole dummy…

She wakes up to find her tooth next to her face. HAHAHAHAHA!

Harrison Gets a Storyline… Maybe

Harrison and Abby discover that their offices have been broken into. Even the safe was cracked. Oh, Eli. Abby is worried about Olivia, but Harrison says she’s handling it. Then a pretty girl shows up to get the documents needed to get Maya a new identity. Her and Harrison have a moment… until she tells him that Adnan Salif says hi and then you can see Harrison shit his shorts.

Holding Pattern

Mellie bugs Cyrus to play the Daniel Douglas is Gay card. He says he’s “holding.” She’s like, “You need to play the damn card ’cause I’m trying to stay in this damn White House!”

Getting To Know You

Olivia brings her mother breakfast and they have a chat while Huck waits outside. Maya had imagined that Olivia’s life was happier than it is. She notes that Olivia is more like Eli and less like her. Olivia gives her a look like, “You don’t know me! You just got here! You don’t know my life!” But all she says is, “I’m nothing like him.”

Can we take a moment to talk about the fact that Mama Pope been in that motel room all of two hours tops, and her hair is looking laid like a mofo? I mean, does Olivia keep a flat iron in her bug-out bag?

Huck and Jake know that no matter where Mama Pope goes, Rowan a.k.a. Command a.k.a Eli will find her. They need to take him out.

Everything Ain’t About You and Liv, Flyboy! 

Jake goes to the White House to ask Fitz to help them find and bring down Rowan. As usual, Fitz can’t do shit. Jake calls him out for only caring about himself and Olivia while the rest of them just piss in the wind. YUP.

Meanwhile, Quinn naked ass still tied up on the floor. She knocks over a glass with her feet. Why, Quinn? Why?

Sally thanks Daniel for his patience and tells him the next day she’s going to make her move. He looks like, “Ruh roh.”

James pops into Cyrus’ office to tell him that he’s meeting with Daniel in a few minutes AND Daniel’s coming to their house later that night to finish up. Then he confirms that Cyrus has a donor dinner that night. He leaves Cyrus sitting there looking DUMB.

Daniel corners James and demands that he not tell the world he’s gay.

Olivia remembers that her mother was on the phone before she left, saying someone was meeting her at the gate. She says they need to reach out to the reporter she was going to meet to get him to corroborate her story. Maya doesn’t want to risk anyone else’s life. She’s content to go into hiding because she has finally seen Olivia.

Call of Booty

Jake and some of his military friends try to corner Rowan and kill him, but they fail. Rowan tells Charlie to find Quinn and use her to figure out where Olivia is. Charlie says he’s been trying, but Quinn isn’t answering his calls. She’s tied up, Charlie! Rowan says try harder.

Huck tells Jake he failed when he used men he met through B613. Then he leaves to finish up with Quinn. He tells her that this isn’t just about betraying him, but she betrayed Olivia. Out comes another tooth.

Olivia sets everything up in Hong Kong - Yes, she speaks Chinese - but there’s a problem: Maya’s pic and a fake name are on the no-fly list on some fake charges. Abby tries to get David to remove her name.

Sally presents Fitz with her plans to run against him. He is not happy. He gets all up in her face. It’s on!

The Struggle at Cyrus’ House

Cyrus finally confronts James about sleeping with James, but James tells him that it’s all his fault for setting him out. James wants a divorce, but Cyrus tells him that he has photos of him and Daniel. James is shocked by this, but I don’t know why. James is playing checkers while Cyrus playing chess. Their argument is cut short when Fitz calls Cyrus.

Fitz jumps in dat ass. He blames Cyrus for Sally’s mutiny and storms out. Mellie wants to know what the hell happened to their plan and Cyrus breaks down in tears. Mellie’s like, “I’m just going to let you marinate in them tears.” But she changes her mind to give him some words of wisdom from an old pro at being cheated on. Then she tells him to handle that damn business of getting Sally out of their way.

David shows up at the motel and tells Abby there’s nothing he can do. Olivia says they’ll find another way. Then she steps outside to call Fitz. Guess they got new Batphones.

He tells her that he loves her, she doesn’t respond. He says he’s going to handle the problem even though she tells him no. She finally accepts his help and says thank you.

Charlie shows up at Quinn’s and finds her all fucked up. She showers and he gives her straight vodka to ease the pain and numb her gums. She says Huck was the only person she had and he hurt her. Charlies tells Quinn she has him now and then they do it. Ugh. Quinn, look at your life. Look at your choices.

Sally Takes a Stand

Cyrus shows Sally the pictures of her husband and his husband getting busy. You can practically see the acidic bile rising in her throat. She calls his bluff though and says that he won’t shame his husband (and tarnish Fitz’s presidency further) to hurt her. Gurl, you don’t know Cyrus.

Later, Cyrus calls James and asks for forgiveness. He tells him no one, including Sally, will see the pictures. See? He already lying!

Quinn is walking down Wonderland Avenue with Charlie. She has agreed to trace the team’s burners and help them find Olivia. I really hate Quinn.

Goodbye, Mama

Olivia is putting her mother on a plane. Abby scolds her for not hugging her. Olivia calls out to Mama Pope and they share a hug. Olivia remembers the last time she saw her mother. After she left, they got a phone call with someone asking for Marie. Olivia watches the plane take off and calls Huck to find out the name on the no-fly list.

Marie Wallace.

Boom. Olivia’s mama ain’t about shit.

Huck is like, “Well, we got a problem then.”

He’s been tracking Quinn and sent her in to Wonderland to kill Rowan.

Oh, Dip!

Cyrus gets a call from Sally. She says she has committed a sin and we see Daniel’s ass is dead on the floor.

And now I feel like this: