Supernatural - S9E3 - I’m No Angel

Previously, on Supernatural: “Devil May Care”

Guest Stars: Adam J. Harrington, Kevin Brief, Shannon Lucio
Director: Kevin Hooks

So, two priests are taking a midnight stroll… Yes, it sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke, but there won’t be laughs from them any longer after bumping into a group of angels who demand to know the whereabouts of Castiel. Our favorite fallen angel continues to be out of sorts with his new human life; particularly on how to properly brush his teeth and constantly pondering why he must urinate so much. While on work detail along the church grounds, Castiel discovers the remains of the priests and hightails it to wherever else he can feel temporarily safe and secure.

The Angels have become more savvy in their means to discover Castiel, enlisting the services of Reverend Buddy Boyle (Kevin Brief), whose podcast is viewed worldwide and gaining more followers every day. Buddy feels more impassioned to continue his work now that he takes instruction from Bartholomew (Adam J. Harrington), the new Head Angel In Charge and most likely season nine’s Big Bad. Despite his angelic origins, he really comes off as a Dick Roman wannabe, yet with less slime and a thinly veiled mountain-sized temper. There’s nothing else that matters to Bart but finding and killing Cas, even if that means eliminating his own compatriots. If he’s willing to cut his own people’s throats, Bartholomew’s regard for humans is clearly nil, as evidenced by his to allow a girl to be possessed and explode seconds after. “Meh. Some humans aren’t meant to vessels. Time to find another intern…” Now that Castiel is completely removed from their angel radar, Bartholomew hires the services of freelance reapers to seek out the alleged traitor.

While Sam and Dean blaze a trail through the Corn Belt to find Castiel, he decides to hunker down in a Detroit alley to look for scraps. As he’s hunched over a garbage can smelling a pickle (yes that actually happens), he meets April (Shannon Lucio), who immediately takes pity on the meticulously manscaped chap and hands him some PB & J. Eventually she takes him on a rainy night, one thing leads to another and bada-bing bada-boom. All appears a little too easy-going and convenient for Cas and wouldn’t you know it, the girl who’s the evil scientist in Agents of SHIELD is totally evil in Supernatural too! April is one of the reapers contracted by Bartholomew, who has taken a few sadistic liberties in completing her task.

Using Castiel’s own angel blade to torture any info out of him, April continues to carve into Cas, even though he’s been truthful with her from the time they first met. Given that Castiel has betrayed Heaven before, very few people are willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, the boys bust the door down just as April stabs Castiel in the heart (!!!). The Winchesters make short work of the eager reaper, then Ezekiel takes over to heal Castiel’s wounds at the expense of his and Sam’s health. All appears to have wrapped itself up in a pretty little bow until Dean had to open up his mouth to explain how April was dispatched while Sam was unconscious, and Castiel was restored to life. Lies upon lies… The pile of bull crap keeps getting larger and larger. This may be the one issue that’ll break up the band for good.

The news gets even worse for the group when Ezekiel informs Dean that Castiel can’t stay in the Bunker. Although warded, eventually the angels will track Ezekiel and the Winchesters’ location. The risk of all of them being together is too great. The episode concludes with Dean telling Cas the plan, causing him to create an expression on his face that can only be described as “Whimpering Puppy”.

Conclusion? Cas is homeless again, Dean hates his job, and Sam is all smiles.