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Review: The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #3

Previously in The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #2

When we last left our hero, she was heading into outer space in a Squirrel shaped Suit stolen from Iron Man when she was knocked out of the sky by Whiplash with his whiplash. That guy. Aptly named, but what an asshole.

Squirrel Girl 3 Whiplash InjuryWhiplash is out to get squirrel girl because he assumes she and Iron Man must be friends and if he can hurt her then it’ll hurt Iron Man. She explains that Iron Man doesn’t even really know her, but Whiplash still thinks that if he destroys the suit, that’ll hurt Iron Man. Hasn’t he ever seen any of the movies? Iron Man has like 10,000 suits. I don’t think he’ll miss the one, especially since it’s shaped like a squirrel and he can’t even wear it. Squirrel Girl doesn’t have time for this. She’s still got less than an hour to stop Galactus. In typical female fashion, she tries to use logic and reason to talk him down, but it doesn’t work. After he tears up her Galactus info card using his handy, dandy whiplash, she gets pissed and it is ON.

Squirrel Girl 3 Broken Info CardSquirrel Girl is too wise to be taken down by the likes of Whiplash. Her squirrel minions run up his electrical whip that he doesn’t realize they can walk on without being electrocuted, run up his arm, and into his mouth. HIS MOUTH. That’s disgusting. While he’s busy trying to fend off the rodents in his mouth, Squirrel Girl punches him in the face. She doesn’t have time for any police, so the squirrels all team up to hold Whiplash in place until she can get back to take care of him.

Squirrel Girl 3 All Those SquirrelsJust as Iron Squirrel And Iron Tippy-Toe are about to suit up and head back into outer space, word comes in that the bank at the college is being robbed. She decides she’s the new guardian of Empire State University and must stop this bank robbery. Damnit, Doreen. Let Jesus take this wheel! That bank and its hostages won’t matter if Galactus destroys the earth. But Doreen comes up with a new maneuver to stop Galactus and save the bank hostages at the same time.

In good old-time crime fashion, the bank robbers are wearing black and white shirts. Just to make sure we know who they are. Nancy happens to be there, getting five dollars out for a falafel. She’s egging on one of the bad guys, telling him he’s an idiot when it’s so much easier to steal money online than it is to rob a bank. She isn’t fazed that he’s holding a gun on her. Doreen breaks down the walls using a suit made entirely out of squirrels. The bank robbers have nothing in their arsenal to help them take down squirrels. They knock out the robbers and free the hostages. The suit of squirrels stays behind to fight off the rest of the robbers., while Doreen and Tippy-Toe put their armor back on and head into space.

Squirrel Girl 3 Suit of Squirrel

They arrive just as the Galactus countdown hits 0. Doreen splits from the Iron suit and has the hand tell Galactus’s death ship to talk to it. She politely asks him to come down to talk to her. She’s not scared, even though he’s huge and she has no squirrels or anyone else there for back-up. It looks like we’ll be in for one hell of a boss battle. But we’ll have to wait for next issue to find out.

About Patti Matteucci (265 Articles)
Patti Matteucci plays in an imaginary band in Illinois where she rocks the mic like a vandal while simultaneously cooking MCs like a pound of bacon. She is into most nerdy things but doesn’t excel enough in any to be labeled a nerd. One of her top skillz is scouring the internet for recipes, printing out a big pile, and then throwing them away before ever trying them when she remembers that you can have food made and delivered to your front door by somebody else. She is a 14 year old trapped inside a 33 year old’s body (or maybe also a 14 year old’s body) with an unabashed love for Justin Bieber and far too much time spent marrying celebrities in Sims 3.
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