The Vampire Diaries – S7E15 – I Would for You

Previously on The Vampire Diaries, ‘Moonlight on the Bayou’

While in New Orleans, Stefan was given a magical herb salve, which prevented Rayna from tracking him. He has but a limited quantity, so it’s a good thing he knows where to find more. When he and his road trip buddy, Valerie, arrive at the herb nursery, they take their sweet ass time looking for what they need. You know, cause this isn’t time sensitive or anything, so why not take a leisurely stroll through the plants? Their careless attitudes bite them in the ass when, out of nowhere, a woman with burns all over her face knocks them out with some vervain gas.

When they come to, they discover she had mistaken them for someone else. A mysterious someone who gave her those facial burns, and who stole several plants from her. Plants, which happen to be the very ones, Stefan was looking for. And oh, they were the last plants of their kind, ever, of course. Without the herbs, Stefan will be on the run for a while yet, but he doesn’t want to do it without a certain someone.

As Caroline struggles to dispose of some dirty diapers – seriously, why was she holding them for so damn long? – Stefan tries to persuade her to join him on the adventure. They could go to Europe, travel the world. Caroline uses the whole “Ric really needs me” excuse, even though they both know she just can’t let go of the babies. A fact made very clear when she asks him just how he feels about Dallas. As in, would he want to live there once this whole Rayna mess is behind them? They resolve to work it out at a later date, but they both know their relationship is about to join those diapers in the trash.

Images: The CW

Now that Bonnie is awake, safe, and healthy, Damon has his sights set on that coffin next to Elena. Before he can say goodbye and shut his eyes for 60 years though, he has to take care of Rayna, for good. A task that proves to be rather easy, thanks to some help from a very surprising source.

See, Matt and Penny are the cutest new vampire-killing dream-team. They’re patrolling the streets of Mystic Falls, until they have a run-in with Rayna. She saves their lives and in return, she wants to know where Stefan is. Matt plays dumb and convinces her to interrogate other vampires, but Matt was playing double agent and tipped Damon off to Rayna’s location. With enough ease to make me wonder why it took them this long in the first place, Damon rips Rayna’s heart out, chops up her body, and throws the pieces down a well.

Damon looks like he’s having a very twisted cookout, bloody apron and all, while waiting for Rayna’s inevitable resurrection. There’s some snappy dialogue between the two of them, complete with a very appropriate Silence of the Lambs reference, but Damon gets to the point quickly: can’t she just stop hunting vampires? Like, Rayna, have you ever even tried not doing it? Maybe they could just call a truce, at least where Stefan is concerned. While Damon tries to save his only family, Rayna is reminded of why she is a huntress in the first place: her own family. There’s no way she’s making any deals.

Meanwhile, Bonnie made her way back to The Armory. She knows damn well these shady people know more about Rayna than they’re letting on. Alex, who seems a little too friendly too fast, decides to share that information. And they have a room full of it. Including all eight bodies of the Shamans who gave their lives to Rayna’s cause. Six of them are desiccated while the other two remain “fresh.” Turns out, every time Rayna dies, a body desiccates. Meaning Rayna had eight lives; now she has two.

Thanks to Bonnie – I swear I write that sentence in every recap – Damon can stop negotiating with Rayna, and work on getting rid of those last two lives. So he shoots her and then buries her. When she wakes up, she’ll suffocate and be gone for good. Easy peas-y, lemon squeeze-y! Except, as usual, there’s a catch. The Shamans put a fail-safe into the spell they used when linking Rayna to the sword. If she dies, for real, any vampire with the X-scar will die along with her. Damon manages to dig up Rayna’s body and save her, just in the knick of time for Stefan. Rayna has come back stronger than ever though, and just as Damon is close to death himself, The Armory saves the day by capturing her.

Stefan returns home, only to find bad news. First off, the fact that Rayna can never die. Which effectively means that he can’t be around Caroline without putting her in danger. Sure, The Armory has Rayna now, but they’ve lost her before. Secondly, Damon is headed for the coffin, which Stefan sees as a huge betrayal. He tells his brother to stay, if he cares for him at all. Damon’s just like, save me some of the good bourbon, bro.

Motivated by Penny’s borderline victim blaming about not taking responsibility for his town, Matt confronts Stefan. He has footage of the Salvatore brothers, and other vamps, doing non-human stuff and he’s not afraid to use it against them. All vamps have till the end of the day to get the hell of out Mystic Falls before little Matty Donavan takes action.

This could not have been more pathetic. I understand Matt’s frustration but like, who would he even show the footage to that would have any chance in hell of helping him? The Armory is the closest thing to a threat, so far, and they just captured a vampire hunter, which seems counterproductive to Matt’s mission.

For whatever reason, Stefan takes him seriously and heads to Dallas. What he sees there, the happiness between Caroline and Ric, is enough for him to keep on truckin’ with Valerie.

Damon is about to take the coward’s way out, when Bonnie shows up in Brooklyn. She lays down some real talk for him, too. He thought he was going to get off easy, not have to say goodbye, and then just imagine everyone missing him oh-so much as he slowly desiccates. But nah, Bonnie wants Damon to know that he’s hurt her, to think about the pain he’s caused her while he waits for Elena, knowing he’ll never see his supposed best friend ever again. She doesn’t even let him say goodbye, which he definitely doesn’t deserve.

When Damon closes his eyes, we’re propelled into the future. After a few quick reminders of all the flash-forward material, we’re back to the TV studio where Stefan is now tied up. He still has a chance to live, though. If he wants, Rayna can transfer his X-scar to Damon; she believes he’s the one who’s always deserved it anyways. Which Damon must agree with, since it was his idea.