The Walking Dead - S7E16 - The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

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Previously on The Walking Dead, “Something They Need”

The Road to the Road to War

Somehow, Maggie is in possession of Judith, who coos on the floor of Maggie’s new office since Gregory is MIA. Maggie has to decide if they’re going to head over to Alexandria and help them take on the Saviors. Yes. Of course they are.

The Kingdom is already on their way on foot and horseback, but they run into a shopping cart roadblock. Walker Richard up to his undead shenanigans? No, it’s Morgan. He’s decked out in Benjamin’s “armor” and waiting for random Saviors to mosey on by. Carol and Ezekiel convince him to carpool since they too are on their way to kill some Saviors.

Dwight pleads his case despite Daryl’s and Tara’s bloodlust. He only followed Negan to protect his wife, and now that she’s gone, well, fuck Negan. He warns that the Saviors will be arriving the next day, and offers to slow them down so Alexandria has time to prepare. Once they beat Negan, he’ll lead them right into the Sanctuary, and then they’ll take down Negan’s outposts one by one. Rick agrees, but Daryl plans to kill Dwight when it’s done because he still hasn’t returned his vest.

The Junkyardigans arrive in an actual fucking garbage truck. Bangs creepily tells Michonne she’ll have sex with Rick when the fight is over. Everyone takes their places to wait for the Saviors.

Only One Person Has to Die

Negan wants to use Sasha to get Rick to stand down, but he also wants to kill three people on general purpose. Sasha convinces him to only kill one person. We all know Negan likes to make an impression; he plans on presenting Sasha in a coffin like it’s a damn magic show. He’s not a complete savage so he tells Sasha she doesn’t have to ride in it the whole way there. However, Sasha insists because it will give her time to listen to some Donny Hathaway on the world’s oldest iPod (courtesy of Eugene) as she dies from taking the poison pill (also courtesy of Eugene).

As she dies, she dreams of the last time she and Abraham were alone together. He came to tell her they were going to take Maggie to Hilltop’s doctor, but Sasha doesn’t want him to go because she had a dream he died. She has a bad feeling about this trip. Sasha is being understandably selfish; her relationship with Abraham is still new and she doesn’t want to lose it. But he reminds her that putting their lives on the line for the people they care about is who they are, and if it’s how they’re to die, at least there’s a point to their death. This is, of course, extra sad since we know Abraham will die that night. This also adds more meaning to her dedication to protecting Maggie after she lost Glenn. As Abraham told Sasha, “Maggie is carrying the future.”

Eugene is the Worst Hype Man Ever

As the Saviors navigate the obstacles placed by Dwight, Eugene offers to talk to Rick first with the hopes he can convince him to give up before anyone gets hurt. Negan agrees, and I can only assume it’s because he gets a kick out of Eugene feeling important.

At the gates of Alexandria, Rick listens as Eugene Eugenes it up, but ultimately decides to take a hard pass and attempts to detonate the explosives they planted out front. They don’t go off because in a surprise move that everyone saw coming, the Junkyardigans have betrayed them.

Negan monologues outside the gates for a bit, making Rick seem like the asshole for not wanting to live under his oppressive rule. He even cements Eugene’s loyalty (such that it is) by pointing out Rick was ready to blow up his once homie. Surely everyone likes Sasha enough not to start no shit, right? Negan opens the coffin and is greeted by Walker Sasha.

That Tiger Went Tiger

In the confusion, Rick’s group begins to fight back. Rosita is shot and taken to safety by Tara. Bangs shoots Rick in the side and Michonne fights one of the Junkyardigans on their sniper perch. Negan makes it away from Walker Sasha unscathed, but another Savior isn’t so lucky.

When the smoke clears, Negan has regained control and says he’s going to use Lucille to kill Carl and then pulverize Rick’s hands. Rick promises to kill Negan - with or without his son or hands. Just as Negan is about to swing on Carl, Shiva takes out a Savior and people behave as you might expect if a tiger suddenly appeared and started eating folks.

The Kingdom and Hilltop help send the Saviors and the Junkyardigans running. Negan gets away, flipping the bird as he goes, but now he knows the communities are aligned and that Maggie is not dead. Though he’s suspicious of how Sasha died, he accepts Eugene’s explanation that she suffocated. Dwight leaves a message for Daryl that he didn’t know about the setup. Rick and Carl find Michonne badly beaten, but alive.

Now, we go to war… in October. And that’s when the real fun should begin. I’ve long wondered what it will be like once Negan knew that several communities are rebelling against him. We all knew he wasn’t going to die in this episode. Watching the groups sneak around and try to find guns for 8 episodes wasn’t very compelling; how they manage to live in open rebellion should be.

Leave your thoughts on the episode below or on our Facebook post for this review, and we’ll read them on tonight’s podcast.