Twin Peaks: The Return - Part 5

Previously, on Twin Peaks, “Part 4”

Five hours in and I still have no fucking idea what’s going on, but I’m hooked.

South Dakota

BobCooper finally got his one phone call, and after briefly wondering aloud if he should call “Mr. Strawberry,” he dials a ton of number and says the phrase, “Hey, diddle diddle,” into the receiver. The lights and alarms inside the police station go bonkers.

Images: Showtime

The corpse in the bed in Part 1 is identified as Major Garland Briggs, and Colonel Davis (Ernie Hudson) sends someone to Buckhorn to investigate.

DougieCooper

Cooper is still a hot-ass mess, and has to go through the motions of performing Dougie’s mundane job at an insurance company. His wife, Janey-E, reminds him that they’ll have to pay back $50K with his winnings, but I’m not yet sure who they’re indebted to.

While his winnings are a good thing for Dougie’s family, they cost the casino pit boss his job and an ass whupping when his boss, Bradley Mitchum (Jim Belushi) assumes he helped Dougie win. Between this and the two groups of thugs (well, one group now since the other perished in Dougie’s car bomb) searching for him, “Dougie” might wanna lay low.

Mondays, amirite?

Twin Peaks

The shovels! Dr. Jacoby broadcasts a pirate TV show where all he does is rant about conspiracies and tries to sell those gold shovels. I can finally sleep at night.

We finally meet Shelly’s daughter, Becky (Amanda Seyfried), after she gets $72 from her mom and drives off with her junkie boyfriend. Becky is high as fuck; it’s clear from the extreme closeup Lynch gave us of her face for like, three minutes. 

The most disturbing scene in the entire episode didn’t involve BobCooper, believe it or not. Richard Horne (Eamon Farren) threatens to rape a young girl in the local bar as he grips her by the neck. No one does anything to stop him. Then he makes a drug deal with someone in the bar. Is this Audrey’s son?