Twin Peaks: The Return - Part 8

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Previously, on Twin Peaks: The Return, “Part 7”

Remember how I said things probably wouldn’t end well with Ray since BobCooper knew Ray was trying to kill him? Well, I was wrong. Things didn’t end well for BobCooper. Maybe.

The two play a bit of a game as they’re driving to a safe location. But first, BobCooper disables the three trackers on their car with a cell phone and puts them on a nearby truck by sending a text with the license plate number, then he tosses the phone out the window. Where the hell is he getting this newfangled tech? BobCooper wants those numbers from Ray, but Ray knows that this info is the only thing keeping him alive. He surely suspects that BobCooper has already killed homegirl from episode 1 or 2 (I forget which). Sure enough, once they’re parked in the woods and out of the car, BobCooper tries to shoot Ray with the gun the warden provided, but Ray has his own gun and kills BobCooper with a few shots to the chest. Didn’t see that coming.

And I didn’t see anything else that followed coming either; my imagination isn’t that good and I don’t do acid.

Ray stands over BobCooper’s body, prepared to deliver some just-in-case shots, when at least a dozen dirty hobos come flickering out of the forest. They’re several versions of that smoky, ash-like ghost in the jail/hospital in South Dakota. Ray watches as they dig in the dirt and then in BobCooper’s body. They smear his blood on his face and then cradle his head. From his body comes a sac (think: caul birth) with Bob’s grinning face in it. I KNOW!

Ray gets the fuck up outta there which might be the best life decision he’s ever made. He makes a call and tells Phillip that he’s going to The Farm. He’s not sure BobCooper is dead, but says he’ll take care of him if BobCooper follows him there.

Then we’re in Twin Peaks where Nine Inch Nails is performing at The Roadhouse. I KNOW! This is the last normal thing that will happen the entire season, probably. When the song is done, BobCooper sits straight up in the woods and I nearly shat myself. Is he Bob-free? Is he Cooper Cooper? He’s probably sorry he threw away that cell phone.

Now, things get straight up I don’t even fucking KNOW.

July 16, 1945 ~ White Sands, New Mexico ~ 5:29 (MWT)

We shift to black and white as we witness the testing of the atomic bomb in New Mexico. From the mushroom cloud comes things that look like tiny insects and spermatozoa. We hurtle through clouds and fire and space. It’s kinda like when the TARDIS spins through time and space, but scary as fuck. Did this test or the subsequent bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki give birth to the evil that has plagued Twin Peaks (and many towns like it in America)? At one point, we see floating eggs and one has the face of Bob in it. A bunch of those ashy hobos flicker about outside an old-time gas station.

Now we’re with The Giant, in a room with a woman listening to an old Victrola. An alarm sounds. He eventually quiets it and walks to a theater where he watches the mushroom cloud, the hobos outside the gas station, and Bob’s face in an egg on the screen. He pauses it there and then levitates several feet off the ground and lies suspended in mid-air. The woman from the other room enters and approaches the screen as it changes to stars in space. She watches in awe as a yellow-orange light with sparking stars emits from the Giant’s face and head. It creates a large bubble, which floats down into the woman’s hands. She stares into it lovingly. Inside is a picture of Laura Palmer. The woman kisses the bubble and then releases it into the air once more. It travels through tubes and floats to Earth. Did we just witness the rebirth of Laura Palmer? Either way, the next time a kid asks where babies come from, show them this.

August 5, 1956 ~ New Mexico Desert

We’re still in black and white. An egg hatches in the desert. Out crawls a frog-like creature with wings. I want my mommy.

As two teenagers walk home from their date, the girl finds a penny on the ground. It’s heads up for good luck, yet I doubt anything good is going to happen because shady figures that look like the ashy hobos also make their way out of the desert.

A middle-aged couple are driving down a dark road when they stop for a car on the side of the road and several of the ashy hobos. One approaches the car with a cigarette. The sound - including his voice - is distorted.

“Gotta light?” he asks over and over.

The couple peel off. Smart couple.

The teenagers are now walking down a dirt road as crickets sing. It’s almost like the start of the Thriller video and I’d give anything for some dancing zombies right about now. They make small talk. He lives in town. He likes her and not Mary. At her door, he asks for a kiss. She agrees. It’s short, innocent, and sweet. She waves goodbye and enters her house. I still want my mommy cause more shady people are walking out of the desert!

The night shift at KPJK radio station consists of one DJ and a receptionist. A waitress at Pop’s Diner wipes the counter. She’s alone.

Gotta Light Man (referred to as The Woodsman in closed captions) strolls into the radio station and asks his question of the receptionist. At first she seems enchanted by him, but that all changes when he crushes her head open with his hand. He kills the DJ, too, by squeezing his head as he takes the mic. The record scratches, startling the young girl fresh from her date who was listening from her bed, and a mechanic working in his garage, and the waitress at the diner. The Woodsman delivers this message:

“This is the water. And this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within.”

As he repeats it over and over, the girl lies down in her bed and closes her eyes. The mechanic and the waitress faint. The frog-like creature crawls to the girl’s house, jumps on her open window’s sill, makes its way to her face and she opens her mouth. It crawls in. She swallows.

I shit myself.