Twin Peaks: The Return - Part 1

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When Twin Peaks first premiered in 1990, I was 16 and slightly obsessed with the show. It was unlike anything I’d seen. I’d liken the experience and the buzz to what it was like when LOST was in its heyday. it defied any one genre and was the first show I remember sparking such debate, speculation, and confusion. I bought the soundtrack and The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (written by creator’s, David Lynch, daughter Jennifer Lynch), and I dragged my best friend to see the movie, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Ob-sesssssed.

Now, I’ll fully admit that I don’t understand most of what I’ve seen in this first episode, but I was thoroughly entertained.

The Black Lodge

Last we saw of Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), he was possessed by Bob (the evil entity that possessed Laura Palmer’s father and killed her). 25 years later, Agent Dale Cooper is trapped in the Black Lodge while BobCooper (that’s what I’m calling him; also MacLachlan) has been out in the world. The giant appears before Dale and tells him to remember 430 and some other stuff that made no sense. Dale, though, had the nerve to say, “I understand.” That makes one of us, Dale.

BobCooper

BobCooper is looking rough. He has Dale’s face, but it’s all orange and leathery… kinda like a certain president. And his hair is long, but not as long as the real Bob’s. He pays a visit to a cabin in the woods, assaults the guy standing guard outside, and asks the inhabitants, Otis and Buella, for Ray and Darya. Buella fetches the two and before he leaves with them, BobCooper warns Buella to get better security.

New York

A young man named Sam (Ben Rosenfield) sits in a warehouse watching a giant glass box. It’s being recorded by multiple cameras, and at the instruction of a woman’s voice over an intercom, Sam changes out one of the camera’s SD cards.

He gets a visitor named Tracey (Madeline Zima) — she works at the coffee shop he frequents — and she’s brought them both lattes, but the guard out front won’t let her in the room with Sam. Though Sam can’t talk about what he’s doing in the room with the box, Tracey seems very fucking interested in going inside, even going so far as to peek over Sam’s shoulder when he enters the room’s door code to leave.

She comes back another night, and this time there’s no guard in the hall. Sam lets her in with the lattes and the two proceed to have sex on the sofa in front of the glass box. They’re interrupted when a blurry, white, alien-like figure appears in the box. He leaps from the box and slashes Sam and Tracey to death.

Now, I’m not saying this wouldn’t have happened if they weren’t having sex, but it still feels like “your dick is not your friend” applies here.

Buckhorn, South Dakota

A ditzy neighbor smells a foul odor coming from her neighbors apartment. When the cops finally gain entry, they discover Ruth Davenport’s head resting on a pillow in her bed. But the body beneath the head belongs to a man. They’re unable to identify the John Doe, but they find Principal Bill Hastings’ (Matthew Lillard) fingerprints all over Ruth’s apartment.

After he’s brought in for questioning, he denies knowing her or how his fingerprints got there. A search of car trunk reveals a piece of flesh. Bill lawyers up.

The maintenance man at Ruth’s apartment, Hank (Max Perlich), doesn’t appreciate the police sniffing around as he’s into some shady business.

Twin Peaks

Our first visit back to Twin Peaks proper contains lots of familiar faces.

An insurance salesman enters the police station and asks for Sheriff Truman, but can’t specify which one. Apparently, there are two Sheriff Trumans and Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) is, still, of little help with her questions and over-explanations.

Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) still runs The Great Northern and may or may not be sleeping with his married assistant, Beverly Paige (Ashley Judd). His brother, Jerry (David Patrick Kelly), is in the marijuana business and it’s treating him right.

Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) lives out in the woods and gets a big delivery of shovels.

Margaret the Log Lady (the late Catherine E. Coulson) rings up Deputy Chief Hawk (Michael Horse) with a message from the log and this is when shit gets real. Well, not as real as being pecked to death by a alien ghost, but it does loop us back to what we’re waiting for: Dale Cooper getting free. She tells Hawk something is missing and it has to do with Agent Cooper. The solution will come to Hank via his heritage. Hawk enlists Lucy and Andy (Harry Goaz) — he and Lucy have a 25-year-old son named Wally — to help go through the old case files for answers. No word yet on whether or not Andy still cries at crime scenes.

Pathetic Predictions

I damn sure did wonder if “Sam” was going to end up being a younger or reincarnated Agent Cooper. That’s another thing that’s great about this show. You can make fool-ass predictions that make no fucking sense and still might be right.

I wonder if Sheriff Truman is married the town’s other sheriff. Can a town have two sheriffs? Well, when it’s Twin Peaks, I guess it can’t be too careful.

3 Questions

I’m sure after each episode we’ll be left with many questions (even in the episodes in which we get answers), but to keep this from going into tinfoil, rabbit hole territories of insane, I’ll just pick my top three questions at the end of each episode.

How long before Dale Cooper leaves The Red Room?

What’s up with the glass box?

What does any of this have to do with dead Ruth?

Okay. One more question: When the hell did Matthew Lillard turn into a grown-ass man, looking like he could be somebody’s grandpa?