Pretty Little Liars - S7E8 - Exes and OMGs

Tweet

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, “Original G’A’ngsters”

Aria

Listen. I get it. Ezra’s dead ex, who he wrote a whole book about, might be alive. That’s deep. But you know what else is deep? Proposing to the girl you took damn near straight from her mother’s breast and planning to elope in Italy. So, just let the FBI do their damn job and continue on with your life. The fact that the nuptials are completely on hold until Ezra learns about Nicole’s fate tells me if they’d gotten married and THEN she was found, they’d be headed for a divorce. So, on second thought: Aria, run. Very nice of you to cash in your Italy tickets and buy Ezra a ticket to the jungle, but don’t be there when he gets back. This is all entirely too damn much and he’s not even all that. With his statutory raping ass.

Emily & Alison

Alison’s back at work (teaching at the high school) and it’s rough going because kids are assholes. First, they “prank” her by appearing in class wearing dark hoodies.

Listen. I’d have been F-I-R-E-D for beating some kids’ asses. But Alison wants to keep her job, apparently.

Emily might also be working at the school after applying for the position of swim coach, but she has competition: her ex, Paige, who later spies Emily with her new girlfriend whose name I can never remember. Ugh. I really thought we were done with Paige. But this is Pretty Little Liars; we’re never really done with anyone, are we?

Spencer

Spencer and Aria track down the doctor who would have delivered Mary Drake’s other baby. He’s creepy (because of course he is) and a drunk. A bottle of whisky loosens his tongue and he confirms the delivery of a second baby, but conveniently doesn’t remember if it was a boy or girl. Gee. Thanks. Later, Spencer is looking through some family photos and gets an “oh shit” look on her face when she spies some baby photos.

Hanna

Hanna is convinced Noel Kahn is AD, and after having a dream that he killed Caleb, AND after her friends don’t seem to be as keen on gripping him up as she is, AND after a visit from that creepy old lady from Ravenswood (she warns of trouble surrounding Hanna and Caleb - no shit, lady), she takes matters into her own hands. This involves hiding out in a shady room with newspaper over the windows and a duffel bag filled with nothing good.

Hopefully we’ll get an episode of Hanna torturing the shit out of Noel. Shake things up a bit.