Scream Queens - S1E4 - Haunted House

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Previously on Scream Queens, ‘Chainsaw’

The episode kicks off with a montage of YouTube style videos for Chanel-o-Ween. She shows her loving spirit by spreading joy to the masses with Chanel-O-Ween, severed limbs, decimated Jack-O-Lanterns.

Grace and Handsome Pete, while doing his best Matthew McConaughey in True Detective, have a sit down with Mandy Greenwell at her trailer park home. A flashback reveals more of the events of the night. WM offers to grind up dead baby mama. Dead Munsch spearheaded the entire cover-up, made the three groove shaking sorority girls bury the dead girl and told them to kick rocks.

Mandy also confirmed the baby was female. Of course, she is later unceremoniously murdered.

Mandy, and you came, with a bat and a pet squirrel, but you had no chance today.

Oh Mandy, the devil stabbed you in your trailer.

You should have stayed away from those kids.

Oh, Mandy.

Earl Grey reaches out to ZayDay in an effort to be the next Michele and Barack Obama of the Wallace University Greek scene. Seriously, how in the hell did I miss this dude was baby Obama?

ZayDay declares her candidacy and Chanel offers more threats, because that is how she operates.

ZayDay is having a fundraiser for Sickle-Cell and Chanel counters with a haunted pumpkin patch for black hairy tongue. She is a giver that Chanel, boy is she a giver.

Grace confronts Wes, who confirms her mother gave birth in a hospital and he was on the business end of the delivery. Grace makes some idol threats then meets with Handsome Pete at a house on Shady lane… See, this is how is how bitches get killed. Shady Lane, girl… that text might as well have read: Meet me at 454 Stab Street, Slice Dice and Bury Me, Killsylvania.

According to Pete and Denise, the house on Shady Lane is haunted by a wailing woman dressed in black. Zayday and Denise have a tete a tete, we learn Denise wanted to pledge KKT in 1988 but was rejected.

The Chanels do an un-lunch of cotton balls and an assortment of dipping sauces. Randomly they offer a lesson in street harassment and curb stomp two guys to the tune of Mad About You. It was really similar to a zombie-killing scene in Shawn of the Dead.

Chanel #6 and Chad bond over their sick desires for murder and sex in creepy places. They later meet up to do-the-do at the house on Shady Lane, only to discover the bodies of all of The Devil’s victims; conspicuously missing is Brother Boone.

The haunted house is jumping and the gang discovers the bodies. Zayday takes us on a tour of the dead, and then she is kidnapped by the Devil.

During the entire hullabaloo, Grace has time to put on her Jessica Fletcher trench coat; we learned some new information about the wailing woman:

The wailing began in November 1995. A woman in all black stole diapers and robbed a milkman of a crate of milk. Pete brings up the most important part of that story: Someone was delivering milk in 1995?

Oh, and if you were unsure, Gigi is the wailing woman in black.

Who done it?

A theory I had going in episode two was the following: Wes, Boone, and ZayDay are in cahoots. I thought Wes was the ringleader and somehow he recruited Boone and ZayDay into the mix. He coordinated the roommate situation with her and Grace. I’m not sure how he would have gotten Boone on board. With ZayDay being kidnapped, it can go either way. She could be in on it, or she could be a pawn in the murder game.

Quotes of the night:

“Chanel, let me brew you up a hot cup of telling you like it is.” - ZayDay

“How can I throw you a bone if I can’t find you?” - Chad

Surprise Scare:

The two scenes in the haunted house before and while it was open. I was not expecting to be both skeeved-out and a little frightened by the prop dead bodies and the kidnapping of ZayDay.

Songs of the Night:

Tell It to My Heart- Taylor Dayne

Mad About You-Belinda Carlisle

Eyes Without a Face-Billy Idol