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BluTuesday - January 26, 2016

What’s going on, ProFans? I’m taking a break from actively rooting for the NFC in the Super Bowl to bring you the latest releases to home media for January 26, 2016. In this week’s episode, we discuss safe horror movies, the world’s worst chef, a natural born killer, and an interesting hostage situation. No, for real this time. It really IS interesting. Anyway, let’s get to it.

Goosebumps (PG)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 72%

It’s a tale as old as time: Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy finds out that girl’s father is a famous author of creepy stories that come to life at the worst possible time. Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) meets and falls in love with Hannah (Odeya Rush), who’s father just happens to be R.L. Stine (Jack Black). Stine has a secret about his amazing stories; the characters in the stories are real, and Zach and his friends find that out in the worst way possible. Now, it’s a race against time to put the genie back in the bottle, with the entire world being at stake. This film, which also stars Amy Ryan, Jillian Bell, and Ryan Scott Lee, is available in a three disc 3D Blu-ray/Blu-ray/DVD + Digital Copy version, a two disc Blu-ray/DVD copy, and a single disc DVD copy. Here’s a little something about me you may not have known: I was never a fan of the Goosebumps books. Wasn’t a big fan of this movie, either. But, there are things that aren’t for me, but it might be for you. So…have at it.

Burnt (R)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 28%

Bradley Cooper plays chef Adam Jones, a Paris chef who only cares about Michelin stars for his restaurants and “creating explosions of taste” - whatever that means. Only problem is, he’s never had his own kitchen. But, in order to get his third star and his own kitchen, he’s going to have to change his bad attitude and get the best chefs to work under him, including rising star Helene (Sienna Miller). This film, which also stars Lily James, Uma Thurman, and Emma Thompson, is available in a single disc Blu-ray + Digital Copy version and a single disc DVD version. Let me level with you, my dear readers for a minute: I tried with this movie. I really did. I just couldn’t muster enough in me to care. Still can’t.

The Assassin (NR)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 81%

The setting is Ninth century China. Nie Yinniang (Qi Shu) is a young woman who was abducted from her home as a child and trained in the martial arts by a very connected nun. As an adult, she returns home as a trained killer with orders to take out her husband-to-be. Facing her parents, her own memories, and her own feelings, she has to choose either to kill the man she loves or break her vows as a righteous assassin. This film, which also stars Chen Chang, Satoshi Tsumabuki, and Shao-Huai Chang, is available in a single disc Blu-ray version and a single disc DVD version. This movie is glorious, brutal, and my pick of the week. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Chi-raq (R)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 81%

Adapted from the Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes, this film tells the story of how the women on the Southside of Chicago use their most valuable asset to turn the tides of gang violence. When a child is murdered by a stray bullet, Lysistrata (Teyonah Parris) organizes the women to take a vow of abstinence until the violence ends. This film, which also stars Nick Cannon, Angela Bassett, and SAMUEL L. JACKSON, is available in a single disc Blu-ray + Digital Copy version and a single disc DVD version. Y’know what I thought while watching this? I wonder what the actual play was like. I think I’ll give that a look instead.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for this week. Got any questions or comments? Did I miss something you wanted to discuss? Please feel free to hit me up in the comments section below.

Until next time…

About Joseph Seltzer (401 Articles)
Joseph K. Seltzer is a movie reviewer for When not writing or talking obsessively about the art of movies and TV to anyone who will pretend to listen – especially when it comes to his love for the musical score – he works as a Help Desk technician for a local school board. Generally, you can find him either burrowed in front of the TV watching movies or playing video games, or spending time with his precocious daughter.
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