Misfits - S5E1 - One
Alex, The Handsome Barman
Alex got a new lung after being stabbed in the series 4 finale. As he’s in a recovery, a woman comes into his room screaming that he has to fuck her. She is, of course, escorted out… hopefully to the psych ward.
Rudy 1 was taking bets on whether or not Alex would pull through because Rudy 1 gives zero fucks. I’ve missed Rudy 1. Finn tells Jess that Alex may have a new lung, but he still has a cheating heart.
A group of scouts are having a meeting in the community center and one pretty girl eyes Finn. Later, Rudy 1 visits Alex in the hospital and Alex is sad to see that Jess didn’t come, too. The crazy chick eyes them from across the room.
Agent of Satan
Finn thinks he’s about to get lucky with the pretty scout, but really she just ties him up so her friends can recruit him to be agent of satan. Before they can complete the ritual, Finn uses his power to send a knife flying into the leader’s cheek and he runs away. The gang doesn’t believe him when he tries to tell them what happened, especially when they see the scouts just chilling in the community center singing Oasis songs. But later, the evil scout leader attacks Finn in the bathroom. When Finn causes him to slip and fall on a bar of soap, the leader dies, but his evil spirt flies into Finn.
Shag the Power Away
The crazy lady shows up at Alex’s and explains that her power is making accidents happen and she’s got numerous scars to prove it. She wants Alex to shag her because he has the lung of the guy whose power was removing powers via fucking. Alex doesn’t believe her, and Jesse doesn’t believe him when she arrives and he says the naked scarred lady isn’t there to fuck.
Superpower Support Group
The two Rudys argue over joining the superpower support group. Rudy 2 wants to, but Rudy 1 ain’t about that life.
Alex tries to apologize to Jess again at the bar, but that’s interrupted when Finn goes all satanic psycho on him and threatens him with a broken bottle. When Alex storms out, Finn warns Jess that she needs to wake up and smell the asshole.
Alex is approached by Calamity Jane again, but before she can plead her case, she’s hit by a car.
Rudy 2 attends the support group and we see that one member of the group is the guy whose power is that he thinks he’s in a video game. “Where’s my money, Conti?”
Use Your Cock For Good, Alex
Alex visits Calamity Jane in the hospital and finally screws her and it works! Instead of ejaculating, he takes her power.
Finn uses a cock for evil when he lures Rudy 1 to the main room of the community center and sacrifices one over him. Rudy 1 is not impressed.
Jess shows up at the center and quickly realizes that Finn, Rudy, and Abby have all been converted to agents of satan. She runs off and finds refuge at Alex’s. He uses this as an opportunity to get her to sleep over and she rewards him by tossing hot warm coffee in his face. Rudy 2 shows up and says he knows what’s going on and he read in one of Finn’s books how to stop it: holy water and chanting a spell he found in the book. Lucky for them, he stopped by the church and got a Sprite bottle full of holy water.
When Jess goes into the club to do what she needs to do, she discovers the holy water is really Sprite and the gun Alex gave her is empty. Outside, Alex finds that Rudy 2 is also an agent of satan and he took the bullets out. Alex whips dat ass and then rushes off.
At the community center, Finn tells the newly-possessed Jess that he loves her, he’s going to fuck her, and turn her into a a bride of satan. Before he can do that, Alex knocks him out, ties Jess us up, and then fucks the satan out of Finn. The probation worker walks in and is all, “Um. Sorry.”
The Jumper of the Future
The lady who leads the support group has the power to knit the future and she knits Rudy 2 a sweater that suggests the group will one day become proper superheroes. Later, the group tries to forget that Alex fucked Finn up the ass.
