Outlander – S4E3 – The False Bride

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Previously on Outlander, “Do No Harm”

Roger has sold his house and is moving to America to perform in a Scottish festival; for some reason no one told him he can just leave his house and come back to it. He’s also been courting Brianne from across the ocean, so I’d bet that he’s hoping his move there will take things to the next level for them.

…or not. That was a hell of an awkward greeting at the airport, although Roger’s big googly eyes didn’t seem to notice. He also doesn’t notice that Brianne is starting to get a little manic: one minute she’s laughing about running them off the road, the next minute she’s flirting with his skirt and making them get a shitty caricature together.

From the look on his face it’s zero surprise that he pulls out the engagement bracelet that night, but perhaps he should have read the room first. Usually when a girl throws her shirt at you, she’s not looking for you to marry her. Not right away, at least. But Roger is too old fashioned and Bri is too… stupid to see a good thing right in front of her. They have a spectacular fight where every single thing they say to each other is perfectly awful and completely correct: he’s being a hypocrite, she’s sending mixed signals, he’s moving too fast, she needs to grow up.

The next night Bri uses her words and actually explains to Roger why she’s reluctant to even consider marriage, after seeing her mother stuck between two relationships. Roger understands completely and does not give a shit: he’ll have her completely or not at all. You’d think Bri would appreciate that, after watching Frank have only a part of Claire for all those years and both of them ending up miserable. But by the time Roger sets the giant Trojan Stag on fire, Bri is gone and Roger has no way of going back. Literally. They rode to the festival together.

It’s time for the Frasers to move on from River Run, much to Auntie Jocasta’s dismay. She sees him off with a mule, a wagon full of provisions, and a box of silver candlesticks—2 of which will be super helpful settling the Blue Ridge Mountains. The candlesticks at least belonged to his mother, but the second he says “I’ll treasure them” means they’re destined to be sold or melted down for money, probably to get Claire out of hock when she gets arrested for running her mouth again.

Claire gets quite the different send off from Jocasta, and they say underhanded niceties and goodbyes in the WASPiest way (except they’re Catholic. WASCiest.) Jocasta pulls out the big guns for one parting shot: Claire’s magical vagina is keeping Jamie from living up to his lairdly potential. Nothing like opinions of elderly relatives to really set the tone for the rest of your relationship with them, eh?

Sweet Young Ian has decided he’s going to stake his claim in America as well, instead of going back to his mother’s house like a widdle baby. He makes his case to Jamie, who clearly cannot recall the time just last season when he got Young Ian kidnapped and Jenny wanted to skin him alive.

John Quincy Myers is also joining the caravan, and it’s not long before he’s telling the lore of Native women’s sex partners. It makes complete sense that Jamie would send Ian off with this weird horny bear to help him trade with the Natives. God, Jamie, it’s a good thing you’re pretty, because you couldn’t make a good choice if you had the instructions in front of you.

A storm hits, and Clarence the mule makes a run for it. Claire, the lesser hunter and tracker of the two, takes off after him but gets thrown from her horse in the storm. She takes shelter under a tree, the worst way to survive a thunderstorm, only to find a split skull and a golf ball sized opal in the wet dirt. All of a sudden a Native American appears in the rain, flashing in and out of focus with the lighting.

The next morning the Native man is gone but has left behind a giant set of footprints, which Claire follows only to find Jamie at the river waiting on her. The skull ghost led them back to each other, but only once Claire discovers the skull’s silver fillings does she figure out why: skull ghost/Native man had been a time traveler, too!

The night’s trauma must have worn off pretty quickly, because when Jamie and Claire look around they realize they’re on a pretty good patch of land. The logistics of it are a little sketchy, but Jamie basically holds up a kitten and declares everything the light touches to be Fraser Ridge.