Pretty Little Liars - S7E1 - Tick-Tock, Bitches

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Previously on Pretty Little Liars

Pretty Little Liars is back for another season of murder, secrets, questionable life choices, and, of course, lies.

There was one major difference this time out and it’s kind of huge. When the episode began, we the audience knew exactly who’s stalking the liars while they didn’t. I was hoping we’d get more of that since in seasons past it’s always been us just as confused as the girls. But partway through this premiere, everyone is aware that Mary Drake, Jessica DiLaurentis’ twin sister is in town and it doesn’t take them long to figure out she’s A.D. She’s also one step ahead of them (as usual) and goes to the police station to file a report that her business (The Lost Woods Resort) was broken into. Next, she gives the girls 24 hours to turn over the real killer or she’ll kill Hanna.

What follows is the typical PLL game of cat and mouse. Mary moves around town, settling into her new life in town, while the Liars (plus Toby, Caleb, and Mona) split up to find 1. find proof that Alison killed Charlotte - yes, they turned on her that quickly - and 2. find Hanna.

While they run around town looking for blood evidence on Alison’s jacket (they find it), a confession from Alison (they get it, though she’s pretty doped up), and Hanna (still missing), a few things become abundantly clear. Emily still has romantic feelings for Alison. She’s the lone holdout when everyone else was ready to throw Alison under the bus, and she lies to the group about Alison’s confession in the mental hospital. It’s not until she finds the bloody jacket does she come around to believing Alison’s guilt, but she’s still not ready to give up on her former lover. Also, you would think these girls would learn to stop trusting the most obvious answers and evidence.

Also still in love? Caleb. He all but puts boot to ass when it comes to kicking Spencer to the curb to search for Hanna. She notices, but she’s also falling back into a familiar dance with Toby where they do a little breaking and entering and then talk about all the different languages they speak. You know, the sexy stuff.

There’s also some lovey-dovey stuff with Aria and Ezra, but I’m not gonna talk about that because watching those two get romantic feels like watching two cousins kiss. Just no.

Just as Hanna escapes her torture cell, Caleb takes off with the bloody jacket and leaves it at the resort. He texts A.D. that Alison is guilty and the jacket proves it. Hanna runs into the road and right into Mary’s car. I somehow doubt she’s going to give Hanna a lift home.

Satisfied that Alison is the murderer - for some bizarre reason - Elliot drops the doting husband act long enough to gloat to his wife that she’ll spend the rest of her life doped up in a mental hospital. Then he injects her with a syringe.

The scene of the episode has to be the meeting between Spencer and Mary. Mary drops by asking for Spencer’s parents, who are on a cruise because of they are. Didn’t her mother just become a Senator? Anyway, Spencer invites Mary in for tea and what follows is the two of them having a very snarky convo loaded with innuendos, threats, and I-Know-You-Ain’t-Shits.