Sleepy Hollow – S3E9 – One Life

Tweet

Previously on Sleepy Hollow, ‘Novus Ordo Seclorum’

Ichabod

Before the mid-season break, Abbie took Pandora’s tree portal into the Underworld to return the Shard of Anubis and keep Pandora and the Hidden One from using its power to wipe out mankind and start over. One month later, she’s still stuck there and Ichabod has one of those obsessive crime solving boards set up in the Archives, frantically hunting down rogue artifacts and lesser-known spells to bring her back. Because he loves her.

Using the Lydian Jug, which he stole in a ridiculously wild motorcycle chase from apocalyptic cultists, Ichabod calls forth a female Maybe Abbie spirit into the tissues between realities. Under the direction of Reynolds, Sophie keeps a close eye on him from afar, questioning him but not quite seeing what’s really going on. But, when the spirit reaches through their respective mirrors and gives them both a mirrored brand, they join forces, believing Abbie has provided a tool to rescue her from the Underworld. Ichie introduces Sophie to the Archives, tethers himself to her and her high-heeled boots, because that is what one wears to anchor a grown man to the living world, and dives into a mirror portal to grab Abbie. Except it’s not Abbie at all; it’s this chick:

That’s right—Ichabod inadvertently turns Sleepy Hollow into a living sequel to The Ring. And I was just cured of any need to visit. Ever. Attracted by Ichabod’s longing for his partner, the onryō demon mistakes Sophie for Ichabod’s true partner and attacks her, then disappears into Dem Woods to find more Abbie-flavored angst. Sophie guesses it’s after Reynolds, who wants to find her just as badly as Ichabod. Pause for Ichabbie shipper eye rolling. During a nighttime car ride following the onryō’s tracks, she reveals that her archeologist parents were kidnapped by Mayan demons when she was a child, and she’s been secretly looking for answers ever since. While he’s glad to have a temporary Scully to his Mulder, Ichabod mopes that there are partners, and then there are partners, like his “better half” Abbie. Swoon.

Fortunately for the clueless, still-jealous, madly-suspicious Reynolds, Ichabod and Sophie easily set up a mirror trap for the onryō, which Sophie then shatters. Reynolds returns to his office none the wiser, and Sophie tells him to chill on the suspicion. He probably won’t chill.

Team Joenny

Following their mission to find Pandora and the Hidden One, Jenny and Joe seek out the Blavatsky Map, essentially the Marauder’s Map of demons. Not surprisingly the trail leads to Randall at one of the many happening clubs in Sleepy Hollow. Mockingly flirtatious, Jenny successfully distracts him from the fact that she actually did steal his cell phone, which leads them to a giant storage unit containing the map… Except he totally knew she would do that and shows up with his boys. Randall’s guys haul Joe off to much punching and a gunshot, leaving the devastated Jenny with Mr. Smug. But, for once, a character’s wendigo Marine nature is not forgotten, and all that commotion off screen proves to be Joe kicking their asses.

Back at Jenny’s impossibly remote mobile home, she confesses that, despite her determination not to get close to any more people who might try to be heroes for her, she loves his stupid risk-taking self, and they kiss. Hooray!

C Plot

Where do broken gods go? In the case of Pandora and the Hidden One, a mill house, to sulk over diminished powers. It went something like this:

The Hidden One: I have the GodFlu thanks to you.
Pandora: I’ve told you infinity times, you’re fine. Just rest and you’ll feel better.
The Hidden One: No, I’m dying of GodFlu. I’ll never get better. Life no longer has meaning.
Pandora: Calm down. I’ll buy Sudafed call forth demons with a shard of my Kleenex box.
The Hidden One: It better work or I’m sneezing on your pillow.

I might have made that last part up.

Betsy Ross Flashbacks

Ichabod and Betsy scope out Cornwallis’ estate to break in, but their protégé Nathan Hale is a foolhardy youngster and gets himself busted and hanged. At the execution, Betsy talks Ichabod out of doing something similarly dumb to rescue him, saying their presence is not only to let Nathan “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country” Hale know that he’s not alone in his hour of death, but also to protect all of the other spies by staying silent.

“Sometimes you must accept that there aren’t going to be any miracles. The best you can do is continue your mission.”

In summary, Betsy Ross is all about leaving men behind as long as they die. Get. Rid. Of this. Character.

Resolution

Team Joenny meets Team Ichophie (yes, I just made that up) at the Archives and rolls out the Demon Marauder map, which reveals that, thanks to the C Plot, all of the demons in the world are heading to Mega DemonCon in Sleepy Hollow. Using Betsy Ross’s bland words of encouragement rather than Nathan Hale’s, they decide to focus on preparing for the fight rather than obsessing over Abbie, which honestly makes no sense because she is a necessary tool of preventing the Apocalypse. But, hey, why am I trying to be logical? Meanwhile, Abbie wakes up in a rocky hell scape. Again.

Tally ho

Hugs: Joe and Jenny

Kisses: Joe and Jenny

Night clubs: Randall’s

Supernatural creature: Onryo (the Ring)

Officer shoots supernatural creature: Sophie

Flashbacks: 2

Twistory: Nathan Hale

Ichabbie Moment: Ichabod calls Abbie his better half.

Man Out of Time Moment: Ichabod tries to skillet-heat microwave lasagna in the plastic container, despite probably knowing how to operate a microwave for 2 years.

Creepiest Moment: Ichabod finding Abbie’s chemise on the stairs, closing scratched shutters, and nearly being dragged into the mirror.