Riverdale - S1E3 - Chapter Three: Body Double

Previously on Riverdale, “A Touch of Evil”

After Veronica goes on a date with the captain of the football team, he spreads rumors online that they did more than make-out. She enlists Betty’s help to get revenge and expose the rampant slut-shaming taking place at Riverdale High. They get their confession, but not without a cost.

Archie comes forward about the gunshot on July 4th, but manages to leave Ms. Grundy’s name out of it. This corroborates Cheryl’s claim that she and Jason heard the same shot while staging his disappearance. He was supposed to hide out for a month or so, but was killed the next week. Why he felt the need to fake his death to leave town is unknown, even to Cheryl… so she says.

Betty and Jughead revive the school’s paper and their first major story is Jason’s murder. Jughead gets a scoop that Ms. Grundy’s car was at the river that morning. Bad timing, Archie. Bad, bad timing.

The Good

When Cheryl wants to thank Archie for verifying her story, he asks her to set up a meeting between him and Josie, a meeting in which he asks if he can shadow the Pussycats. But then he asks to help write songs and Josie correctly and promptly checks him; what makes this white boy think he can write the experiences of three black women?

The twist of Grundy being implicated after Archie already admitted to being there alone was enjoyable. She’s a pedophile and Archie shouldn’t be sparing her in telling the (half) truth. Of course, Archie isn’t thinking with the right organ.

Betty’s mom is such a hot-ass mess, but in a good way. It would have been so easy to have Betty come from the perfect family and occasionally rebel to be a bad girl. Instead, rebelling for Betty means not being a snobby bitch like her mom.

Yay for Shannon Purser (Ethel, another victim of Riverdale High slut shaming), who played Barb in Stranger Things.

Jason’s image is tarnished for his beloved sister when Cheryl finds his name in the brag book… right next to Polly’s. Cheryl still has her super trope-y moments, but the fact that each episode seems to peel back a bitchy layer shows promise.

The Bad

The brag book storyline has been done to death on shows set in high school or college. The decision to get revenge instead of reporting the jock was also predictable, but the execution (Betty and Veronica trick the boy into believing they’re down for a threesome so they can coerce a confession) felt like an excuse to get the girls in sexy lingerie and inspire shipping GIFs on Tumblr - not that there’s anything wrong with the latter. And Betty going all Mr. Hyde was corny as hell.

Of course, the biggest shame is that storylines like this are still relevant.

Josie’s great moment in reading Archie would have been great if she didn’t then agree to let him help write songs in the very scene they were in together.

We have got to do better with Cheryl’s dialogue. NO ONE talks like that.